Thursday, July 4, 2013

Gabriel's Inferno - Prologue


Prologue
Florence 1290
The poet dropped the note to the floor with a shaking hand. He sat silently for several moments, motionless as a statue. Then with a great clenching of teeth he stood to his feet and swept agitatedly through his house, ignoring tables and fragile items, disdaining the other inhabitants of his home.
There was only one person whom he wished to see.
He strode quickly through the city streets, almost breaking into a run on his way to the river. He stood at the end of the bridge, their bridge, his moist eyes eagerly scanning the adjacent riverbank for the barest glimpse of his beloved.
She was nowhere to be found.
She would never return.
His beloved Beatrice was gone.

Gabriel's Inferno - Chapter 34


Chapter 34
Julia reclined on her back on the terrace’s banquette, staring up blissfully into Gabriel’s sparkling eyes. He’d divested himself of his suit jacket and loosened his tie, but refused to remove it, remembering how arousing it had been when Julia tugged on it at the Ponte Santa Trinita.
She was captivated by him — his nose, his cheekbones, his angular jaw, his magnificent blue eyes under dark brows, and the chest hair that peeked out over the top of his white t-shirt beneath his open collar.
He was on his side facing her, resting his head on his upturned arm, his right leg crooked at the knee, pouring champagne. They toasted their love and partook of Gabriel’s favorite vintage of Dom Pérignon before he leaned over to capture her lips with his.
“I’d like to feed you,” he murmured.
“Yes, please.”
“Close your eyes,” he said. “Just taste.”
Julia trusted him, so she shut her eyes and felt something nudge against her lower lip; then it was inside her mouth, all chocolate and juicy sweet strawberry and the feel of Gabriel’s thumb brushing across her heated flesh. Opening her eyes, she grabbed him by the wrist, pulling his thumb slowly into her mouth.
His eyes widened, and he groaned. She drew his thumb across her tongue, touching it lightly, and sucking on it determinedly, before swirling across its tip to savor any remaining chocolate. Gabriel groaned a second time at the way Julia looked up at him through her eyelashes, staring down at her with a mixture of passion and surprise.
She released him and looked away. “I didn’t mean to get your hopes up. Thumbs are one thing, but I’m terrible at — ”
Gabriel’s Inferno
487
He interrupted her self-deprecation with his lips, kissing her almost roughly. He stroked up and down her neck with a single finger while he explored her mouth with his tongue. When he pulled back, his eyes had a fire in them.
“I don’t want you to put yourself down anymore. I won’t hear it. What we have is ours alone. Don’t prejudge yourself or me or what the two of us can be together.” He gave her a light peck on the cheek as if to soften his severe tone and brushed his lips against her ear.
“And I have no doubt that you are excellent at that. A mouth as gifted as yours could never disappoint.” He winked at her impishly.
She flushed as red as the fruit but didn’t respond.
He returned to feeding her strawberries dipped in chocolate, interspersed with small sips of champagne, until she declined any further dessert so that she could return the favor.
Picking up a fork, she loaded it with tiramisu and arched an expectant eyebrow at him. “Close your eyes.”
Gabriel did as he was told, and she delicately slipped the fork between his lips. He hummed loudly, for the dessert was very good. Better still was the pleasure of being fed by his beloved. She was preparing to serve him another piece when he interrupted her.
“I think you forgot something, Miss Mitchell.” His tongue swept across his lower lip.
He grasped her hand, dragging two of her fingers through a small portion of the dessert and drawing those same fingers languorously into his mouth. As usual he was unhurried, drawing gently on each finger, gliding his tongue up and down before sucking on them from root to tip.
As Gabriel adored her fingers with his mouth, Julia’s body cried out for him. She couldn’t help but imagine his most talented tongue dipping into her navel and lower down, where no one’s mouth had ever been…
“Are you happy, love?”
Julia opened her eyes and blinked. “Yes.” Her voice was shaky.
“Then kiss me.”
She pulled him by his tie, just as he’d hoped, and he complied gladly, rolling so that he was almost on top of her, his knee between her thighs. He was warmth and wet kisses and long fingers that stroked up and down her ribs and down to her bottom, cupping it firmly. She felt the heat of his
Sylvain Reynard
488
chest through his shirt as it pressed up against her breasts, and his hardness against her thigh, and she wanted more, more…on top, in between, inside…
Gabriel pulled back and took her hand in his, kissing the back of it. “Come to bed.”
“You can have me here.”
He furrowed his brow at first, and after his smile returned he kissed her nose. “Oh, no. I want you in my bed. Besides, it’s chilly out here, and I can’t have you catching pneumonia.”
She looked slightly disappointed.
He hastened to comfort her. “If you still feel the same way, we’ll revisit it tomorrow. But for tonight, we should be behind closed doors. I’ll meet you inside. Take all the time you need.”
He kissed her with restraint and watched her very fine derrière as she walked across the terrace and into the bedroom. He leaned back on the banquette and threw his arm over his face, unashamedly adjusting himself more than once through his navy wool trousers. The anticipation was killing him. He’d never been this excited before, so ready to spread her out before him and take her with abandon. But that was precisely what he would not allow himself to do.
Not tonight.
How had he ever thought that fucking some woman he didn’t even know in one of the washrooms at Lobby was exciting? How had he believed that nameless, faceless orgasms would ever satisfy him? He’d spent his life worshipping at the altar of a silent, absent god who promised everything but delivered something fleeting that always left him wanting. He’d trafficked in lust masquerading as eros. But nothing had been further from reality.
Vanity of vanities. All is vanity.
Everything had changed since he found Julia again, and especially since he’d fallen in love with her. She’d broken him open and taken his emotional virginity, but she had done so patiently and gently. He would give her nothing less.
While Gabriel pondered the ways in which he could worship her, Julia was leaning against the vanity in the bathroom trying to catch her breath. Gabriel’s sensuous foreplay was the equivalent of a scorched earth seduction. There was no going back. There was no slowing the tremendous, irresistible pull they felt toward each other.
Oh God, how I want him.
Gabriel’s Inferno
489
She studied herself in the mirror as she fixed her hair and makeup and brushed her teeth. Minty fresh and freshened up, she reached for her nightgown and robe, only to discover that in her passion-soaked haze, she’d entered the wrong room. Her lingerie was in the other bathroom.
Merda.
She could take off her clothes and wrap herself in one of the Turkish robes hanging behind the door. But that would rather defeat the purpose of purchasing lingerie. She could try to sneak into the other bathroom, but that would mean crossing through the bedroom, and Gabriel was sure to have come in from the terrace by now. No doubt he was reclining on the bed, like King Solomon in all his glory.
Julia trembled with anticipation at the mere idea. Should I take a shower first and just wander out there in a towel? Should I strip down to my panties?
As her brain stalled on how best to make her entrance, Gabriel tidied the terrace and moved everything inside. He placed the pillar candles around the room, grouping several of them by the bed. He adjusted the music so that a playlist he’d created solely for that night filled the air. He’d entitled the playlist Loving Julia and was more than a little proud of it. He placed a few personal items on the nightstand and turned out all the lights.
Then he waited.
And waited. But she didn’t appear. He began to worry.
He walked over to the bathroom and pressed his ear against the door. He could hear nothing, not even the sounds of running water or the rustling of silk. His heart leaped into his throat. What if she was afraid? Or upset?
What if she locked me out?
He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
“Come in.”
He was surprised to be so invited. He opened the door carefully and peeked inside. Julia was standing in front of the mirror, looking shy. “Are you all right?”
“Yes.”
He frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just — Gabriel, will you hold me? I had all these plans, and then I came in here and froze and…” She rushed over to him.
His face wore a concerned expression. “It’s only me, love. Maybe I’ve overdone it.”
Sylvain Reynard
490
She shook her head and pressed her face to his chest. “No, I’m over-thinking things, as usual.”
“Then think about how much you are loved, my sweet, sweet girl. Tonight I will show you just how much.”
He kissed her tenderly, and when she smiled up at him and nodded, he picked her up to carry her to the bed.
Julia wasn’t afraid. She thought she might be, but as Gabriel held her in his arms, pausing with each step to kiss her, her nerves began to relax. She loved him. She wanted him. And she knew that he wanted her too.
He placed her on the edge of the bed and looked down on her with kindness. Julia’s breathing stilled; that was the look he had given her in the orchard. In their orchard. Now she wanted him even more.
“You turned the lights out,” she said.
“You have beautiful skin. It will be particularly alluring by candlelight.” He kissed her forehead. “A figure such as yours would have inspired cavemen to carve on walls.” He kneeled in front of her and slowly removed her high heels.
“Are you sure?” she whispered.
He sat back and looked up at her, pushing a lock of hair out of her eyes. “Only if you are, love.”
She smiled. “I meant — about the shoes. I could keep them on.”
The thought thrilled him. He couldn’t deny it. But he worried about her comfort, and there would be plenty of time for other, more playful moments.
“I shouldn’t have let you navigate the cobblestones in such high heels. It had to be painful. No shoes tonight.”
He caressed her feet slowly, running his thumb up and down the arch of her foot, a move designed to relax but also to arouse her. She began to whimper; it felt so good. She wondered briefly how his thumb would feel on other parts of her body, and a shiver coursed up and down her spine.
Gabriel paused. “You’re quivering. We don’t have to do this.”
“It’s a pleasant kind of quivering,” she murmured.
He continued to caress her feet for a few minutes before his hands ascended the backs of her calves to rest behind her knees. His magical fingers teased the hidden erogenous zone, almost making her cry out. She couldn’t keep her eyes open as her breathing came quicker.
He knows a woman’s body the way…somebody knows something. What was I saying?
Gabriel’s Inferno
491
In truth, he knew her body better than she knew it herself, which was a regrettable state of affairs. Nevertheless, she trembled as she thought of what delights awaited her when he actually moved his hands a little higher.
As if he was reading her mind, he ceased his attentions to her knees and moved his hands up to her thighs, pressing and parting them slightly so he could run his thumbs up and down, pausing before coming to the tops of her stockings. He was trying his best to take his time, making sure that she enjoyed every movement, ensuring that he skipped nothing.
“Gabriel, please don’t sit on the floor.” She reached her hand out to him, and he kissed it.
“The whole evening is a gift. Simply accept it.” A smile tugged at the edge of his oh-so-perfect lips. “St. Francis of Assisi would approve.”
“But I want to make you happy too.”
“You’ve already made me happy, Julia. More than you know. Would it help if I confessed that I’m nervous too?”
“Why would you be nervous?”
“I want to please you. I haven’t been with a virgin since I lost my virginity and that was a long, long time ago. We’re going to take this slowly. I want you to relax and be as comfortable as possible. And if you’re ever — uncomfortable, I want you to tell me. Immediately. Can you do that for me?”
“Of course.”
“I care for you — you’re precious to me. And one of the most precious things to me is your voice. Please tell me what you want, what you need, what you desire…” His voice grew raspy on the final three words, and an involuntary tremor passed through Julia’s body.
She leaned down to press her lips against his. “What I desire is for you to stop kneeling to me, Gabriel. So get up off the floor.” She tried to look fierce, but he simply grinned at her.
Hello, Tiger…
“Give me a minute, and I’ll be right back.” He disappeared into the nearest washroom, and Julia could hear the sounds of the water running in the sink.
He returned momentarily to find her standing up and reaching around to the back of her dress. His hands immediately moved to cover hers.
“I’d like to do that.” His voice was husky.
He unzipped her dress slowly, staring deeply into her eyes. Then he gently pushed the green silk off her shoulders. It made a sighing sound as it floated to the floor, as if it too, had been seduced by him.
Sylvain Reynard
492
Julia stood in an ivory satin slip, whose hem ghosted the top of her gartered black stockings. Gabriel gasped at the sight of her, for she looked like an angel. A brown-eyed angel with dark upswept hair against creamy white skin, wearing an ivory slip over black lace under things. A juxtaposition of virtue and the possibility of eros.
He reached out an explorative finger to touch one of the garters. “I wasn’t expecting this.”
Julia blushed. “I know you didn’t want black, but truthfully, I wasn’t expecting you to see me in these. I thought I was going to change.”
“Hey.” He gently lifted her chin and caressed her colored cheek. “You are stunning. And I never said I didn’t like black. But if you want to change, I’ll wait.”
He gazed down at her expectantly, but she shook her head. She’d waited long enough. She ran her hands up and down his powerful chest before pulling him toward her by his tie. She kissed him deeply and slowly unknotted it, trying to be as sinuous as possible, sliding it around the back of his neck and dropping it unceremoniously to the floor. She attended to the buttons on his shirt, making short work of them and placing it and his t-shirt on top of his tie. While he stood before her, half-naked, she pressed her mouth to his chest, wrapping both arms around his upper back so she could feel the muscles in his shoulders and lower down.
“I can feel your heart beating,” she whispered.
“For you,” he said, with a smoldering expression.
She smiled as she touched his abdominals and waist. His skin was warm, much warmer than hers, and oh, so inviting. Unbuckling his belt and unfastening his trousers was slightly nerve wracking, but he placed a steadying hand over hers and helped her when they refused to cooperate. When he stood in front of her in his boxer briefs, having already kicked off his shoes and socks, she took a deep breath, waited for his nod, and pushed his underwear over his hips.
She took a step backward to admire him. She licked her lips and grinned. Widely. Gabriel was gorgeous.
It was probably genetic, or maybe it was a gift from the gods, or a combination of both, enhanced by his diet and exercise. But as her eyes wandered over his muscular body and well-defined abdominal muscles, something inside her warmed and melted. She felt heat rushing to her womb and farther down, especially as she noticed the V that extended from his hips. He was a modern version of Michelangelo’s David, but with far
Gabriel’s Inferno
493
finer proportions and unspeakably beautiful hands. Perhaps it was in poor taste, but she was more than a little smug when she realized how much larger he was than him.
Karma…her conscience cheered. She fought back a giggle, biting her lip roughly so that she didn’t behave like a schoolgirl in reaction to her momentous discovery.
Gabriel noticed her strange reaction but said nothing. He suppressed a smirk, telling himself that it was probably not the right time to joke with her about his size. He didn’t want to overwhelm her, and he knew damn well how good he looked, particularly now as he strained at attention.
All because of her.
“May I?” He came closer and ghosted his fingers over her hair, pausing for permission.
She assented, and he began to remove the pins, one by one, spilling her curls onto her shoulders. Julia closed her eyes and drank in the feeling of Gabriel’s fingers running through her hair. It reminded her of the day back at Richard’s house when he played hairdresser.
He untangled each curl lovingly, crown to end, until her tresses hung about her face like a dark curtain. He grazed the curve of her neck before his fingers found the straps of her slip. He pushed them over her shoulders. Julia stood in a black lace bra, black lace boy shorts with attached garters, and black sheer stockings.
Erotic perfection paired with the blush of innocence.
She was truly lovely. But she was nervous under his watchful gaze. She didn’t like being stared at for long periods of time; it made her self-conscious. So he gathered her to him and kissed her until he felt her shoulders soften.
“Julia, I would like to see all of you,” he whispered.
She nodded, and he took his time removing her stockings, releasing the catches and slowly rolling them down her legs, pausing briefly to fondle the backs of her knees again. Her labored breathing in his ear assured him that he was doing it correctly. Then he stood behind her and pressed kiss upon kiss across her shoulders before gently unfastening her bra. She pulled it forward and dropped it at their feet, thinking to herself how sexy their clothes looked together on the floor.
He took a moment to cup her breasts from behind, bringing his body flush with hers. He caressed her lightly, brushing her nipples with his thumbs as he opened his mouth to pay homage to the skin beneath her ear. Then he slid his hands to her ribs, pausing to rub them up and down
Sylvain Reynard
494
before hooking his fingers in the material at her hips. He continued teasing the skin beneath her ear with his tongue as he removed her panties.
Julia was finally, gloriously, nude.
He hugged her around the waist and moved her to face him, noting the way her eyes were bent to the floor, her plump lower lip worried between her teeth. She started to fidget with her hands, and Gabriel knew she was only a moment away from covering herself.
“You are a goddess.” He freed her lip, pushing his thumb softly to the curve of her mouth before he lifted her chin. His eyes swept across her deliberately from head to toe and back up again so that she could see his admiration.
“When I am an old man and I can remember nothing else, I will remember this moment. The first time my eyes beheld an angel in the flesh.
“I will remember your body and your eyes, your beautiful face and breasts, your curves and this.” He traced his hand around her navel before dragging it lightly to the top of her lower curls.
“I will remember your scent and your touch and how it felt to love you. But most of all, I will remember how it felt to gaze at true beauty, both inside and out. For you are fair, my beloved, in soul and in body, generous of spirit and generous of heart. And I will never see anything this side of heaven more beautiful than you.”
He enveloped her in his arms, kissing her repeatedly with light kisses, trying to communicate with his lips how much he loved her. He fingered the diamonds in her ears and placed his mouth to her earlobe. “Having seen you naked, I should demand that the only thing you wear in my presence from now on are these earrings. Anything else is superfluous.”
Julia pressed a quick kiss to his lips before moving to recline on the bed, peeking over at him shyly. Gabriel had to take a deep breath and release it in order to get his bearings, for the sight of Julia naked and inviting was almost his undoing.
“Why don’t you lie on your stomach, darling? I’d like to admire your beautiful back.”
She smiled and rolled over, folding her arms and resting her head on them so she could continue to stare. He hovered above her, a pleased look on his face as he pressed a kiss to each shoulder blade.
Just like my favorite black-and-white photograph, she thought.
Gabriel’s Inferno
495
“You’re breathtaking, Julia, from all angles. A true work of art.” He traced a finger down her spine, pausing as she shivered under his touch, then he smoothed a hand over one of her lower cheeks.
“You changed the music,” she mused, recognizing Matthew Barber’s romantic song And You Give.
“You inspired me.”
He picked up a small bottle of sandalwood and satsuma scented massage oil and placed some of it in his hand, warming it, and began to rub her shoulders. Julia closed her eyes and sighed.
“Just feel.” Gabriel kissed her cheek and continued his gentle movements, traveling down her back unhurriedly until he was exploring the two dimples above the curve of her peerless derrière.
“These are lovely.” He pressed his lips to each dimple.
Julia flinched, so Gabriel paused. When he continued, she began to relax. After what seemed like an hour, he was whispering in her ear, coaxing her to roll over. She felt as if she was floating on a cloud. She blinked up at him, a lazy smile spreading across her face.
He reached down to nuzzle her nose with his as he moved over her, one leg between hers and one leg to the side, his elbows resting near hers.
“You’re gorgeous,” he whispered, lowering himself until their bodies whispered against one another. Then he slowly began to press angel-soft kisses up and down her neck and across her collarbone while he continued his massage of the front of her body with one hand.
Julia loved the way her breasts brushed up against his hard chest and the feel of his taut abdomen against her softness — the way his strong hand slid beneath her bottom, pulling her against his hips.
“You don’t know how much I desire you,” he murmured against her neck. “How sexy you are.” He nuzzled the dip at the base of her throat, pausing to trace it with his tongue.
Without warning, Julia arched off the bed and cried out in pleasure. Her hands found his back, and she began tracing the muscles, coming to rest on his hips, pushing down on them.
“Not yet, love.”
He worshipped her with his mouth, with lips, with the gentle nip of teeth, unhurriedly adoring his beloved’s body. She tensed when he kissed her hip bone, tasting the skin with his tongue before drawing it into his mouth.
Sylvain Reynard
496
“What’s wrong?” he murmured, as he nuzzled across her lower abdomen from one hip to the other.
“No one has ever…” She stopped, embarrassed.
He grinned wickedly against her hip, plying it with kisses and working her flesh with his tongue. Of course he never did this for you. In addition to being a motherfucker, he was also a fool.
“Sweetheart, spread your legs for me.”
Her eyes were dark and slightly cautious, but she complied. She watched as he gazed at her appreciatively, his eyes darting up to meet hers. He smiled and gently began to pet her with his fingers. Julia moaned.
He touched her lightly at first, testing her with one finger, moving carefully. Then he stretched her with two fingers, curling them upward as his thumb began to rub tiny circles. He never took his eyes away from her face, watching for any sign of discomfort, listening to her breathing speed as his curled fingers found her spot inside. He bowed his head in admiration, bringing his lips to the top of her inner thigh, teasing her before taking the flesh into his mouth and sucking with abandon, while continuing the movements of his hand. It was an extraordinary combination.
Julia’s body bowed off the bed as she came with a cry so loud it approximated a scream. He continued touching her, but lessened his suction until she thrashed and tried to close her legs. He brought his mouth up to hers and kissed her tenderly.
“Thank you,” she whispered, feeling feather-light. It should be a crime to have such gifted fingers…and what a mouth…
“Did that please you?”
She nodded, breathing heavily, her eyes a little wild.
He doubted that the senator’s son had ever found her spot, and the thought made his chest swell with pride. He was looking forward to introducing her to all of the places on her body that he could bring pleasure to, one by one. He dragged his finger from her neck, circling a breast, and down to the place on her thigh where there was now a fresh mark. He pressed the newly colored skin lightly.
“Does it hurt?”
“No. But how — ?”
“This part of your thigh is very sensitive. Someone who is selfish or rushed would ignore it and touch here first.” He moved his finger to pet her lightly between her legs.
Gabriel’s Inferno
497
She was still sensitive from her orgasm, and so she jumped. He withdrew his hand and traced her thigh again.
“Julia, the only thing that redeems my previous experiences is that I can place what I’ve learned at your service. The only woman I’m interesting in pleasing from now on is you.”
She reached up to touch his face, and he leaned his cheek against her hand, closing his eyes. She pressed her thumb against his mouth, feeling his full lower lip, and tugged him forward into a passionate kiss. He responded by placing his body over hers, and her heart quickened, thinking the moment of their union was imminent.
Once again, she grasped his beautiful behind, urging him closer. He smiled patiently and pushed back on one arm. “This isn’t a good position. I need to move you.”
“I thought — me underneath you, isn’t that right?”
“It’s the worst position to lose your virginity in,” he explained, planting baby kisses across her shoulder.
“I think I’ll like it.”
Gabriel pulled back. “Not for your first time; it would be too easy for me to hurt you without realizing it.”
Hurt? she thought.
His heart stuttered at the worry that flitted across her eyes. He placed his hands on either side of her face. “I am not going to hurt you, Julianne. I am not a teenage boy. I’m not him. I’m going to be very, very gentle. That’s why we can’t do it like this.”
“Why?”
“The angles. My weight on top of you, even if I’m distributing it to my knees. Gravity. If you’re on top, you can control the movements, the depth of penetration. I’m giving the control to you. Trust me,” he breathed, kissing her ear.
He continued to caress her, murmuring adorations against her smooth, almost translucent skin. Then he wrapped his arms around her back, lifting her from the bed and switching positions so that he was flat on his back and she lay on top of him.
As she rested on his chest, he whispered Dante’s words to her in Italian:
“Color di perle ha quasi in forma, quale
convene a donna aver, non for misura;
ella è quanto de ben pò far natura;
Sylvain Reynard
498
per esemplo di lei bieltà si prova.
De li occhi suoi, come ch’ella li mova,
escono spirti d’amore inflammati,
che fèron li occhi a qual che allor la guati,
e passan sì che ‘l cor ciascun retrova:
voi le vedete Amor pinto nel viso,
là ‘ve non pote alcun mirarla fiso.”
Gabriel praised her beauty and her goodness, comparing her to a pearl and declaring that Love, itself, was featured in her visage. Julia whispered her thanks for his beautiful words, stilling so that she could hear his heart beat under her ear. She was overwhelmed to think that she held this person, this man she had loved for so long, in her arms. She couldn’t stop touching him, tracing every muscle, every sinew of taut perfection. She traced his eyebrows, the indentation above the center of his sensuous upper lip, his sideburns, his ears…
He reached up to kiss her, tracing her lips with his tongue and drawing her plump lower lip into his mouth. For a few moments there was skin on skin, two naked bodies flush and prone. Julia’s hands continued to explore Gabriel’s form, his face, his chest, his hips. She began to stroke his erection softly, hesitantly, pressing kiss after kiss to his neck and throat as she worked him with her hand.
He growled in her ear, signaling his pleasure. A surge of confidence propelled her to stroke him more surely, quickening her pace as she brought her lips to his chest, kissing his pectorals and his tattoo. He was panting now.
“Let me worship you with my body, Julia,” he rasped, not wanting his impending satisfaction to take place in her hand.
She released him as he grasped her thighs, gently coaxing them apart so that they rested on either side of his narrow hips. She felt him beneath her, lifting of his own accord between her legs. She shifted slightly, and a worried look shadowed her lovely face.
Gabriel placed his hand on her heart. The little beating thing inside her spluttered frenetically at his touch and sped up. “Are you all right?”
She leaned forward, allowing her hair to hang about her face like a screen.
He reached up to push her hair behind her shoulders so that he could see her better. “Please don’t hide. I want to watch you.”
Julia bit her lower lip and looked away.
Gabriel’s Inferno
499
“What?”
She shook her head.
“Sweetheart, now is not the time to be shy. Tell me.”
She stared at his chest, trying very hard not to look at the dragon as it mocked her with its permanence. “This isn’t how I imagined it,” she whispered, so low he had to strain to hear her.
“Then tell me how.”
“I thought you’d be…over me.” His banner over me is love.
“I like being on top, I won’t deny it, but you’re very small, sweetheart, and very delicate. I’m worried that — ”
“I know I made you wait a long time, Gabriel.” Her voice was just above a whisper. “It will be all right if you can’t be careful with me. If you need to be…aggressive.”
Her remark disturbed him deeply, for behind the words he recognized not her voice but Simon’s. Of course that’s what she thinks — that’s how he treated her. Men are dogs with no self-control, and she’s just a plaything for their sexual release. The idea sickened him, but he fought to keep revulsion from showing on his face. He placed his hand on her cheek and gently stroked her.
“Julia, I love you. If I were the kind of man who would be aggressive with you because you made me wait, then you shouldn’t be going to bed with me. You’re a person, not a toy.
“I don’t want to use you. I want to please you. So much.” At this he gazed up at her with large, dark eyes, dropping his voice to the merest whisper. “I want you forever, not just for tonight. So please, let me do this my way.”
He begged her with his eyes to take him at his word. He didn’t want to have to explain why he was concerned and what kind of outcome he was studiously avoiding. There would be time enough for that in the morning.
“All I ever wanted was for someone to love me,” she said, quietly.
“You have that now.”
He moved his mouth to her breasts, holding one gently in his hand while he nuzzled the other. They were perfect. Perfect in weight and size, natural and pretty. Rosebuds and cream. He thought back to the night he’d first seen one, peeking out from behind her purple robe in their hotel room in Philadelphia. How he’d longed to take her into his mouth. He flicked her with his tongue, licking softly, and gently drew on her nipple, feeling it peak still further in his mouth.
Sylvain Reynard
500
Julia threw her head back, making inarticulate noises. Gabriel measured her reaction carefully. He wanted her to be aroused, and if she orgasmed by this alone, so be it. It would make what followed much, much easier.
“Let go, love. You don’t have to fight it,” he spoke to her other breast, as he offered it his attention.
Julia shuddered at his words and began rocking against him, eyes closed, sliding back and forth. Within a few minutes he felt her tighten and release, her posture sagging as she finished. She opened her eyes, blinked, then smiled down at him almost languidly.
And thank you very much for orgasm number two…
She took the initiative to kiss him, murmuring her affection through swollen lips. When she retreated, he reached over to grab something from the nightstand. She watched as he freed himself from under her, squirting a clear substance into his right hand and rubbing it somewhat roughly up and down on himself.
He noticed the expression on her face and hastened to explain. “It will make things easier for you.”
Julia flushed deeply. She knew about such things, although she had never had reason to use them before. She felt embarrassed that she hadn’t thought to purchase it for herself. She had come to Florence unprepared.
“You’re very kind.”
His mouth curved up into his cocky half-smile. “I told you I’d anticipate your every need.” He kissed her and reclined back on the pillow. “I can use a condom, if you’ve changed your mind.”
“With all the tests you’ve had, I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”
“It’s still your choice.”
“I trust that you told me the truth about everything.”
“I’m glad I’m your first.”
She smiled widely at his declaration. “I want you to be my last, Gabriel.” She kissed him passionately, her heart quick and full because of his words. Because of his actions. “But I want something from you now.”
“Anything.”
“I want you to be on top.”
When his brow crinkled and he looked perilously close to a frown, she leaned over him in earnest. “You have already shown yourself to be a generous lover. But it isn’t a good idea to put me in control when I don’t
Gabriel’s Inferno
501
know what I’m doing. It makes me nervous. I won’t be able to relax and concentrate on how it feels. Please…” She added the last word as a half-hearted addendum, for she didn’t want to have to plead with him. He’d asked her to voice her desires, and she was doing so.
He realized at that moment how stressful it would be for her to sit above him naked and exposed, responsible for what was to happen. Later on, perhaps, but not the first time. Despite his worries, he could not deny her. Gabriel nodded, a slight tension visible in his jaw, and in one fluid movement she was on her back and he was kneeling between her legs.
Her smile was like the rising sun. For this was how she had always imagined it.
“Thank you,” she murmured against his mouth as he kissed her tenderly.
“It takes so little to make you happy.”
“I wouldn’t say little,” she giggled as she rubbed her thigh against him.
He smirked at her, reveling in a moment of levity.
The music changed then, and Julia looked up at him with interest. “What’s the name of this song?”
“Lying in the Hands of God by the Dave Matthews Band.”
“I like it.”
“Me too.”
She regarded him curiously. “Why did you choose it?”
“The words, the music…” His smile widened as his eyes sparkled. “The rhythm.”
“Oh, really?”
“Feel it. Focus on the rhythm. It’s perfect for making love.” He gripped her hips and pressed himself up against her, sliding up and down in time to the music, knowing that she would enjoy the contact as much as he.
She moaned, all laughter gone, and began to push herself toward him.
“Take a deep breath, love,” he whispered.
As she inhaled, he pressed inside her just a little. She closed her eyes and drank in the feeling.
Now that Gabriel had the merest hint of how she would feel around him, his body was tempting him to push in hard and fast. But he knew that any thrusting on his part would tear her. He wanted her. He wanted to be inside her. But he cast his desires aside for the moment and remained perfectly still, distributing his weight to his elbows on either side of her shoulders, lapping and sucking her breasts.
Sylvain Reynard
502
Now that she had an inkling of what it would be like to be connected to him, to be filled by him, she wanted more. Much, much more. She wanted all of him.
“Careful,” he warned, as she lifted her hips, eager to entice him further. “The next part will be uncomfortable.”
When she didn’t open her eyes, he placed a hand to her face, running his thumb along her cheek.
“Look at me. Look into my eyes.” His eyes fixed on hers as they fluttered open.
“I’ll give you anything. My body, my soul, take them. Take everything.”
They stared at one another as he pushed in a little deeper, nudging slowly, slowly…
Her eyes widened, and she inhaled roughly as he entered her.
Gabriel immediately froze, steadying her with a hand to her hip, ensuring that neither of them moved.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he crooned. He moved his hand to her face and began stroking her. “That’s the worst of it, I promise. Are you all right?” He scanned her face eagerly for any signs of tears.
But there weren’t any. It wasn’t as painful as she thought it might be. It wasn’t completely comfortable, either, but the sensation of having him inside her, the emotions she saw on his face, in his eyes, distracted her from the twinges inside…it was almost too much.
She wanted more. More of him. More of this and them…she wanted to see him come apart above her and know that they had done this together. She wanted to find their own beautiful rhythm. The music swirled and rose about them, a tempting pace she was eager to match. She smiled, and he felt her smile travel all the way to his heart, allaying his worries. Without breaking eye contact, he began to move in and out maddeningly slowly.
She blinked rapidly at the feel of Gabriel inside her. Her hands slid down the tensing muscles in his back to his behind, smoothing over his curves and feeling his rhythmic thrusting beneath her touch. He balanced himself on one elbow, tracing sensual patterns up and down her ribs and over her shoulder. She was magnificent: her long, dark hair spread out across the white pillow, her brown eyes full and deep, locked on his, and her mouth, red and open, as she began to groan with every thrust.
Gabriel moved a hand to splay his long fingers across her ass, guiding and moving her, but following a gentle pace. He had waited so long.
Gabriel’s Inferno
503
She watched his eyebrows come together and his teeth clamp down on his lower lip. They were moving, moving, not fast but with determination, the synchronized connection of two lovers who would not look away.
Julia saw so many emotions in his eyes: love, concern, passion, adoration, affection, erotic desire…He looked at her as if she was the only woman on earth, as if there was nothing else in their private universe but the two of them and the sensual music that floated in the air as Gabriel made love to her, punctuated as it was by the noises escaping their chests.
Julia heard herself moan and pant, casting aside any embarrassment at hearing sex sounds fly unbidden from her throat. Gabriel loved her cries, and they spurred him on, arousing him even more, as if that were possible. He reached in between them, and as his speed increased, he began to pet her in time to his thrusts. Her tightened grip on his ass indicated her pleasure, as she fought to keep her eyes open.
“Look at me. I want to see your eyes when you come.” The intensity of his voice matched his expression.
Her eyes grew wide, and she cried out as his fingers sped. Julia tightened like a knot pulled just too tight and suddenly, gloriously fell.
Erotic whispers and murmured adorations filled her ears. He had not cursed. She was far too distracted to focus on this surprising fact. She could not know that he was a vocal lover who groaned and shouted expletives to match his urges and satisfactions. But in this space, sacred or otherwise, his spontaneous utterances had been clean and pure.
“I love you. I love you. I love you,” he chanted above her, in time with his movements.
Julia was enjoying the feeling of intense, unparalleled fulfillment as it flowed through her. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before. And before she could find her way through her orgasm, she felt him push in deeply and cry out her name.
Gabriel collapsed, careful to distribute his weight to his elbows, a wave of emotion coursing through him as he came down from his climax. He held her close, whispering sweet words in Italian, waiting for her to open her eyes.
I love this woman. More than I love my own life…
His beautiful Beatrice was not a virgin anymore. He’d taken — and given — what Dante never had. He prayed silently that she wouldn’t live to regret the decision that brought her to his bed, or her choice of first lover.
He shifted so that he was beside her and reached a finger to trace her chin. Only then did he notice the flush that had spread across her neck and
Sylvain Reynard
504
chest and further down. The skin of her inside thighs had bloomed pinkish red, and Gabriel choked back a sick regret.
Oh God, I’ve hurt her.
“Julia?”
Now her eyelids opened. At first her gaze was wide and unfocused. Then in an instant it shifted. She saw him and the prettiest slow smile played across her lips, exposing her white teeth. She felt like she was a feather coasting on a summer breeze. It was so much better than anything else…to see and hear him, to touch and taste him and then finally, gloriously, the naked, raw, and rare climax.
He exhaled and kissed her deeply. “Are you all right?”
“Yes,” she purred.
“I love you. I just want to make you happy, to watch you smile. Forever.”
“You’ll make me cry.” Julia couldn’t continue; she was beyond words. She kissed him, eyes closed, reveling in the arms of her lover. Her first. And last.
“Don’t cry, my sweet, sweet girl.” He kissed her eyelids, caressing her cheek with his hand.
Suddenly, he was gone, and Julia found herself alone in the large bed, made larger still and colder by his absence. The aching loss was immediate, but her mind was still slow, numbed as it was by her first taste of this ecstasy. Before she could slide a hand across the sheet to reach for him, he was pressing near her.
“Just let me look, darling.” His whisper was hesitant.
She had no idea what he was asking, so she simply hummed her permission. Then tentative fingers grasped her knees and a gentle hand lifted one, angling and spreading her wide, but not too wide. Now her eyes were open.
Gabriel froze as their eyes made contact. “Just a quick look to make sure you’re all right.”
When he’d attended himself in the washroom, he hadn’t noticed any blood. The realization had relieved him more than he could express. His eyes flickered down, and soon he was sighing, his shoulders relaxing. He pressed something warm and soft between her legs.
She flinched.
“I’m sorry.” Again he pressed the damp cloth to her sensitive flesh. There were a couple of pinkish spots on it, but nothing alarming. In truth, he wished there had been no pink at all, but pink was infinitely better than red.
Gabriel’s Inferno
505
“I’m fine. You just surprised me.” Julia’s voice shook, but only because she was still floating, and the feeling of him touching her there had intensified her sensations.
Gabriel picked up a glass of water from the nightstand and placed it in one of her hands, shaking two a little white pills from a medicine bottle into the other.
“Ibuprofen,” he explained, hastily. “For the pain.”
“It’s not that bad, Gabriel. I wouldn’t call it pain.”
“Please,” he begged.
She was puzzled by his overreaction but elected not to be stubborn, popping the pills quickly into her mouth and downing the entire glass of water. She was thirsty.
When he’d soothed her and cleaned her up, he scooped her into his arms, kissing her forehead over and over. He carried her across the threshold of the bathroom.
Julia heard the water running before they walked through the door. “What’s happening?” she managed, holding her head up.
“Let me care for you, baby.” He kissed her forehead and gently placed her in the large and inviting bathtub.
The hot water and rose scented bubbles were comforting. She was still dreamy, but things were slowly coming into focus. She opened her eyes and saw Gabriel standing over her, still naked, still glorious, checking the temperature of the water with his fingers and adjusting the taps.
“Are you still thirsty?”
She nodded.
He disappeared for a moment and returned with a garnet-colored liquid in a wine glass.
“Cranberry with soda,” he said. “It’s good for you.”
She arched an eyebrow at him, wondering how he became an expert at warding off female problems, but once again, decided not to pursue the question. She drank greedily and passed him the empty glass.
“You changed the music. What is it?”
“Sogno by Andrea Bocelli.”
“It’s pretty,” she murmured.
“Not as pretty as you.”
He turned off the water and climbed in behind her, placing his long legs on either side of her body, pulling her to his chest. They each sighed
Sylvain Reynard
506
in contentment. She leaned her head back on his shoulder, and he stroked her hair, his touch light and gentle.
“Was it — okay for you?” she whispered.
That’s an understatement, he thought.
“Like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. You were perfect. You are perfect.” He pressed his lips to the top of her head, and she snuggled into his arms. “And very, very sexy. How about you?”
“It was even better than I imagined. Thank you.”
He began to run his hands up and down the slick, wet skin around her ribs.
“Why the bath?” she asked, shifting against him slightly, feeling his new arousal against her backside.
His lips found her ear. “I wanted to care for you.”
“Thank you, Gabriel, for your kindness to me. I know things would not have been as pleasant if I was with someone else.”
He kissed her hair. “You deserve far more and far better than me, Beatrice,” he whispered. “La gloriosa donna della mia mente. The glorious lady of my mind.”
“My Dante.” She turned to kiss his wet chest. “When can we do that again?”
Gabriel smiled. “Not until tomorrow. You need to heal first.”
She squirmed slightly. “But it isn’t that bad. You were very careful.”
“After all that we’ve shared, I just want to hold you and be close. Rest in my arms and know that I love you. We’ll be making love again very, very soon.”
Julia felt comforted and let herself relax wholly against his body. She silently thanked the gods of large bathtubs, handsome, sexy lovers, and rose-scented bubble bath. (Not necessarily in that order.) And she thanked the gods of virgins who were about to have sex with their sex-god (no blasphemy intended) boyfriends for the mother of all orgasms. Thrice over.
In the wee hours of the morning, the Edenic lovers wound themselves around each other, flesh against flesh, sleepy and sated in a large, white bed. Lightness and darkness, innocence and experience, kissed and caressed in the warmth and acceptance created by their love. The dark angel whispered to his muse in Italian until she fell asleep in his arms, happier than she had ever been. She was loved.
The End

Gabriel's Inferno - Chapter 33


Chapter 33
At eight o’clock that evening, Miss Julianne Mitchell put the finishing
touches on her hair as her sweetheart gazed at her longingly from the doorway of the bathroom. He adored her. It was evident in every look, every touch, and the way he stared, unblinking, at her simplest actions.
She’d curled her hair and pinned it up, coaxing a few tendrils about her face, tendrils Gabriel longed to wrap around his fingers. Her aesthetician in Toronto had given her a small tube of industrial strength concealer, makeup that was designed to cover even the worst scars. It was so effective, Julia no longer had to wear a scarf to hide Simon’s bite. Just being able to forget about the scar made Julia joyous, especially since Grace’s lovely scarf would not have matched her new dress.
Her dress was a silky emerald green — long-sleeved and V-necked, as she preferred, its hem brushing the top of her knees. She wore sheer black stockings with a surprise attached to them and was about to step into her black Prada stilettos. As Gabriel watched her lean forward to put on her shoes, he vowed to purchase more of them. They did incredible things for her legs and to her cleavage as she leaned over.
“Allow me,” he said, crouching in front of her in his freshly pressed navy suit. He took her hand and placed it on his shoulder, to aid her balance, while he lifted each foot and slipped on her shoes.
“Thank you,” she murmured.
He smiled up at her and kissed her hand. “Anything for you, Cinderella.”
Julia pulled her black three-quarter length trench coat from the closet and was about to wriggle into it when Gabriel took it out of her hand.
“Let me,” he protested. “I want to fuss over you.”
“It’s just a coat, Gabriel. No worries.”
“Yes, I know it’s a coat. But it’s an opportunity for me to behave like a gentleman and honor you. Please don’t deprive me, Julianne.”
Sylvain Reynard
478
She flushed in embarrassment and nodded slowly. She wasn’t used to such attention, of course, except from Gabriel. She wanted to be gracious and let him attend her, but it was far more than she ever expected or thought that she deserved. She reached up to kiss him and whispered her thanks against his lips. He took her arm and led her downstairs and toward the restaurant.
Julia and Gabriel walked slowly through the cobblestoned streets from the Palazzo Vecchio, over to the Palazzo dell’Arte dei Giudici e Notai, laughing and reminiscing about previous visits to Florence. They had to walk slowly, for navigating Florence in stilettos was more than a little challenging. Thankfully, Gabriel had taken Julia’s arm to escort her properly, thus enabling her to walk upright and also to avoid much of the wolf whistles and catcalls of Florentine youths. The city had not changed that much since the days of Dante.
The restaurant Gabriel had chosen was called Alle Murate. It was located in a fourteenth-century guild hall a short walk from the Duomo, and it boasted incredible period frescoes, including a portrait of Dante himself. Julia was overwhelmed by the beauty of the artwork and found herself wandering slightly as the maître d’ escorted them to their table.
Gabriel had reserved a quiet space on the loft floor overlooking the main room, just under the vaulted ceiling. It was the best table in the house, for it afforded the finest and closest views of the medieval illustrations. Four angels frozen in frescoes floated above them as Julia took Gabriel’s hand and squeezed it. She was ecstatic.
“It’s beautiful. Thank you. I had no idea these frescoes were here.”
He smiled at her enthusiasm. “Tomorrow night will be even better. Massimo tells me that my lecture is scheduled after the museum closes and there will be a reception with local dignitaries and academics. Later on, there will be a banquet inside the Gallery. It will be a semi-formal affair, and we will be the guests of honor.”
Julia smiled narrowly. “I didn’t bring anything fancy enough for a semi-formal.”
“I’m sure anything you brought would look beautiful. But I can understand not wanting to wear the same dress twice. So I will just have to take you shopping.”
“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather I left you to it? The banquet is a celebration of your lecture, so you’ll be very busy. Maybe you’d be more comfortable if you could — mingle freely.”
Gabriel’s Inferno
479
He reached over to push a curl away from her face. “Julianne, your presence is not only encouraged, it’s required. I dislike going to social events alone. I always have. Having you at my side is the only pleasure the evening will afford, I assure you. Don’t you want to join me?” His face took on a worried expression.
“I always enjoy your company. But people will ask me who I am and what I do…won’t that be awkward for you?”
His features immediately darkened. “Of course not! I’ve been waiting for the end of the semester so I could enjoy your company in public and introduce you as my girlfriend. And there’s nothing shameful about being a graduate student. Half the people at the banquet will have been graduate students at one time. You’re a grown woman, you’re intelligent and beautiful…”
He grinned wickedly. “I will have to stay close to you in order to keep my rivals at bay. They’ll be circling around you like Etruscan wolves, vying for the attention of the prettiest woman at the party.”
Julia smiled her gratitude and leaned over to kiss him. “Then I would be delighted to accompany you.”
In answer, he pressed his lips to her hand, her palm, and her wrist, moving his lips gently to the sleeve of her dress. He pushed it up her forearm to expose her bare skin to his mouth. Julia’s eyelids fluttered as he began kissing the delicate skin of her arm with wet, unhurried kisses. He dragged his lips to the sensitive space at the inside of her elbow and sucked lightly. For Gabriel knew, as Julia did not, that the inside of a woman’s elbow was a particularly erogenous zone.
The sound of the waiter clearing his throat behind him merely slowed Gabriel’s attentions. Julia blushed a brilliant red at being caught, which prompted him to release her arm reluctantly.
Over a bottle of Tuscan wine and a few antipasti, Gabriel asked about her study-abroad program, where she lived and what she did. When she spoke of how she would visit the Uffizi on an almost daily basis to gaze at Botticelli’s masterpieces, he wondered if there really was such a thing as destiny. And he wondered how he’d ever been fortunate enough to find her not once, but twice.
After they’d finished their main courses and were sitting quietly gazing into one another’s eyes and exchanging chaste kisses, Gabriel released her hand and rummaged in his suit pocket.
“I have something for you.”
Sylvain Reynard
480
“Gabriel, the trip is a gift in itself, and now you want to buy me a dress. I can’t.”
He shook his head. “This is different. Before I give it to you, I want you to promise that you won’t refuse it.”
Julia looked over into serious blue eyes. He wasn’t joking. In fact, he was quite grave. She wondered what was hidden in the palm of his right hand.
“I can’t promise something without knowing more about it.”
He made a face. “Promise that you’ll keep an open mind?”
“Of course.”
“Hold out your hand.”
Julia did as she was bidden, and Gabriel placed a small, black velvet box in her palm. She inhaled sharply.
“It isn’t a ring. So you can start breathing again.” His face was smiling, but his eyes were tense.
She opened the box and was stunned by what she saw. Nestled amongst black silk were two large, round, and perfect diamond solitaire earrings of about a carat each.
“Gabriel, I…” She searched for more words, but couldn’t find any.
“Before you refuse them, I need to tell you their story. Will you listen? For me?”
She nodded, mesmerized by the glittering stones.
“They were Grace’s. Richard gave them to her the first time he told her that he loved her. They weren’t together very long before he fell for her completely. Legend has it that he sold his car to buy those earrings.”
Julia’s mouth hung open. Now she recognized them. Grace wore them almost constantly.
“I want you to have them.”
She shook her head and gently, reverently closed the box. She held it out to him. “I can’t. They were your mother’s. You should keep them.”
“No.”
“Gabriel, please. They should go to Rachel or Scott.”
“Rachel and Scott have other things. Richard gave these to me.” As Gabriel began to panic, all he could do was focus on the small patch of velvet surrounded by her porcelain skin. His eyes narrowed a little. “If you refuse them, you will injure me.” His words were barely above a whisper, but they hit Julia as if he had screamed.
Gabriel’s Inferno
481
She swallowed and took a minute to gather her thoughts. “I’m so sorry. They’re lovely. And I can’t express how wonderful I feel that you want me to have them, but this is wrong.”
Julia saw that his mood was shifting from hurt to upset, and so she looked down at the tablecloth in front of her, hiding her eyes.
“You misunderstand me, Julianne. I’m not giving them to you because I think you should have something of Grace’s. They aren’t the equivalent of a scarf or a string of pearls.”
She chewed at the inside of her mouth as she waited for him to continue.
He leaned across the table and pressed his palm against her cheek. “I am giving you these to commemorate the fact that I have already given you my heart.” He swallowed thickly as his eyes searched hers. “This is my way of saying that you, Julianne, are the love of my life, and I want something of mine with you always. Don’t you see? These diamonds represent my heart. You can’t refuse them.”
Julia saw in his eyes that he was absolutely serious. She knew that if he’d given her an engagement ring, she would have been shocked, but she would have accepted it. There was no other person in the world for her, just him. So why was she hesitating?
On the one hand, there was her pride, and on the other, there was the thought, the painful unacceptable thought, that she would hurt him by rejecting his gift. She didn’t want to hurt him. She loved him, which meant that her decision had already been made.
“They’re beautiful. The most beautiful gift I’ve ever received, next to your love. Thank you.”
He kissed her fingers in gratitude. “Grace would be happy that we found one another. I believe that, Julianne. I believe that she’s looking down on us and offering us her blessing. And she would be overjoyed that I was able to give her earrings to the woman I love.”
He smiled, extending his hand and pulling her into a passionate embrace. “Thank you,” he whispered.
After he’d kissed her, he took the box from her hand and helped her place the earrings in her ears. And he pressed a tender kiss to each earlobe. “Meravigliosa. Marvelous.”
Julia laughed nervously. “Everyone downstairs is staring at us.”
“Not everyone. The waiter is in the kitchen.” He smirked at her, and they both laughed.
Sylvain Reynard
482
He caught her eye and leaned forward to whisper in her ear, “Behold, thou art fair, my beloved.”
Julia flushed deeply at Gabriel’s erotic Hebrew poetry and murmured her reply against his neck, “By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not. I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him.”
Gabriel responded with a slow, surprised smile and kissed her until the waiter returned.
When Julia declined dessert and the wine bottle was empty, the blissful couple floated in the direction of their hotel.
“How are your feet?” Gabriel gazed down wistfully at her beautiful high-heeled shoes.
She squeezed his hand. “I can’t feel my feet. I can’t feel anything at this moment except happiness.”
He smiled at her tenderly. “My sweet girl.”
He chose a single lock of hair and wound it gently around his finger before releasing it. “Can you tolerate a detour? The Duomo is beautiful by night, and I’ve never kissed you in its shadow.”
She nodded, and he led her to the church so they could admire Brunelleschi’s dome. It was an incredible feat of renaissance architecture, a great egg shaped dome with a tiled roof soaring above a beautiful church. They walked to the front of the structure, near the Baptistery opposite, gazing at the façade and up at the roof. It was breathtaking, even at night.
Gabriel pulled her to his chest and kissed her lovingly, winding his fingers around the loose tendrils of her hair.
She half-moaned as he dragged his lips to her earlobe, drawing it into his mouth gently.
“You have no idea how it feels knowing that I gave you these.” He nuzzled her earring with his nose. “Knowing that you wear my love for everyone to see.”
Julia responded by kissing him eagerly.
With fingers entwined, they found themselves drawn to the Ponte Santa Trinita, the bridge where Dante saw Beatrice. Standing on the bridge, they looked down at the Arno, illuminated as it was at night by the lights of the buildings on the riverbanks.
“Julianne,” he murmured, holding her in his arms as they watched the river flow.
Gabriel’s Inferno
483
“Gabriel.” She smiled up at him and angled her face for a kiss.
He kissed her softly at first, but their kisses grew more and more intense. He pulled away, well aware of the fact that they were becoming a spectacle for the foot traffic across the bridge.
“I’m so glad I found you again. I’ve never been this happy.” He stroked her cheek lazily and pressed his lips to her forehead.
Impulsively, she reached out and grabbed his silk tie, pulling him so that their faces were mere inches apart. “I want you,” she breathed. And with that, Julia pulled him even closer and kissed him.
And what a kiss it was. Here was the tiger emerging from behind the façade of the kitten. Julia’s passion, ignited by Gabriel’s affection, poured into his mouth as she endeavored to show him how much she felt for him. Her hands, which had normally rested on either his shoulders or in his hair, left his tie to explore his chest and his back, feeling his muscles through his clothes, pressing him tightly against her.
Her aggression delighted him. He reciprocated within reason, well aware of the edge of the bridge at his back and the clusters of impertinent youths who continued to walk by.
When they were both panting for air, she brought her lips to his ear, “Make me yours. Now.”
“Are you sure?” he rasped out, caressing her hips and her backside.
“With all my heart.”
He brushed his thumb against her now swollen lower lip. “Only if you’re ready.”
“I’ve wanted you forever, Gabriel. Please don’t make me wait any longer.”
He chuckled softly. “Then we should get off this bridge.”
He kissed her once more and excused himself to make a brief phone call. It was a quick exchange in Italian that sounded like Gabriel was confirming something with the concierge, but Julia couldn’t hear everything. He turned his back on her deliberately and spoke in hushed tones.
When she asked him about it he grinned. “You’ll see.”
It took them a little longer than it should have to arrive at the hotel, for every few steps one of them would pull the other into a passionate kiss. There was laughter and gentle caresses; there were tender embraces and murmured words of seduction, and a tango or two against the wall of a darkened alley.
Sylvain Reynard
484
But really, the seduction was complete. For it had occurred in an old orchard years ago.
By the time Gabriel led Julia into the penthouse and out onto the terrazza, they were vibrating with shared electricity and very, very needy. Which meant that it took Julia a moment to notice the transformation. Pillar candles had been scattered around the space and contributed a warm, flickering luminosity to the starlight from above. The air was perfumed with jasmine. Pillows and a cashmere blanket beckoned them to recline on the futon banquette.
A bottle of champagne sat chilling in an ice bucket, and nearby, Julia saw a plate of chocolate-covered strawberries and what looked like tiramisu. And lastly, she noticed the music of Diana Krall.
Gabriel came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, nuzzling her left ear with his nose. “Does this please you?”
“It’s beautiful.”
“I have plans for you this evening, my love. I’m afraid those plans don’t include sleep until much, much later.”
Julia shivered at the tone of his voice, low and sensual.
He held her more tightly. “Am I making you nervous?”
She shook her head.
He began to kiss her neck softly, floating his lips across her skin. “A declaration of desire,” he murmured. “But tonight I will make good on my declaration when I take you to bed and make you my lover.”
She trembled once again, and this time he crooked his arm across her collarbone, hugging her close. “Relax, darling. Tonight is all about pleasure. Your pleasure. And I intend to please you all evening.”
He kissed her cheek, then spun her around slowly. “Foreplay is essential. And since this is new to both of us, there are a few things I’d like to do first.” He searched her eyes for her reaction.
“I’m yours, Gabriel.”
He smiled and embraced her softly. “I want to explore your senses — sound, taste, sight, touch. I want to take my time arousing and exciting you.” He lowered his voice. “But most of all, I want to teach your body to recognize the man who worships you, just by my touch.”
“I already recognize you, Gabriel. There’s no one else.”
He kissed her intensely and paused as Besame Mucho sounded in the air. “Will you dance with me?”
Gabriel’s Inferno
485
“Of course.” As if I’d ever refuse the chance to hold you in my arms…
He pulled her close, and she pressed grateful lips to his jaw.
“Is this our song?” She stroked his lower lip with one of her fingers.
“It should be. I remember everything about that night. Your hair, your dress. You were a vision. And I was such a brute. The things I said.” He shook his head. “How did you ever forgive me?”
Julia rebuked him with her eyes. “Gabriel, you’re giving me the fairy tale I never thought I’d have. Please don’t spoil it.”
He kissed her lips repentantly and held her more tightly, running his hand across her ribs. For Gabriel knew, as Julia did not, that the ribs of a woman were another erogenous zone.
As they swayed to the music, he softly sang to her, pouring his soul into the Spanish words but changing them slightly so that she would know he would never let her go. He would give her nothing less than forever and hell itself could not prevent him from keeping his vow. He just hadn’t spoken the words aloud.
Yet.
She lifted her head and stared at his mouth, memorizing its fullness and its curves, the way his bottom lip curled downward. She tugged it into her mouth unhurriedly, winding her fingers in his hair. He was sweetness and wet warmth, hunger and passionate need, love and devotion. And his kiss pressed itself to her very soul, so that even the tips of her toes felt his adoration and desire.
Two bodies pressed tightly together in a lover’s dance, eager with anticipation.

Gabriel's Inferno - Chapter 32


Chapter 32
Julia awoke the next morning stark naked.
Or so she thought.
She was in Gabriel’s bed with their bodies wrapped around each other. Her head rested on his shoulder while his left arm ran across her right hip, their legs scissored, their hips pressed close.
She moved a hand down his back until she found soft cotton covering his most beautiful of curves, which she explored surreptitiously. Then she looked in between them and realized she was wearing her pink bra and panties.
In her dream, they’d fallen into bed naked and made love for hours. Gabriel had placed his body over hers and held her gaze like a magnet as he entered into her slowly, until the two became one. An eternal circle with no end and no beginning. He’d worshipped her with his body and his words, and it was far more emotional and lovely than she’d ever dared hope.
But it was only a dream. She sighed and closed her eyes as the previous evening’s events came flooding back. Sorrow and relief commingled and spread across her heart; sorrow for Gabriel’s loss and tortured desperation, and relief that all their secrets had now been spoken.
Gabriel murmured her name, his eyes moving beneath his eyelids in deep rem sleep. He’d been so tired the night before. So broken. Julia kissed his cheek and quietly extricated herself from his arms, padding to the bathroom.
When she regarded herself in the mirror, she saw wild, rumpled hair, smeared eye makeup, and lips made fuller from kissing. Several love bites, mild in color and quite painless, dappled her neck and chest. He’d been a gentle but enthusiastic lover.
Gabriel’s Inferno
467
She washed her face and brushed her hair, taming her mane into a high ponytail and provocatively forsaking her purple bathrobe for one of Gabriel’s button down shirts. She fetched the Globe and Mail from the exterior hallway and waved a shy good morning to Gabriel’s nervous but not entirely unfortunate-looking next door neighbor, who stared through his rimless spectacles at her shapely bare legs before retreating like a frightened mouse into his apartment. He was not used to seeing such beauty so early in the morning, and he’d been clad only in Superman pajama bottoms of dubious origin.
When Julia entered the kitchen she was faced with a mess, for no one had cleaned up after dinner, their hands and minds too full for such pedestrian concerns. After indulging in a slice of apple pie with Vermont cheddar, Julia proceeded to return Gabriel’s apartment to its formerly pristine condition. It took longer than she anticipated.
When the kitchen was spotless and Gabriel still had not emerged from his bed, she poured herself a very large mug of coffee and sat in his favorite chair by the fireplace with the newspaper. The sight of his Oxford shirt and her silk blouse lying on top of one another on the floor brought a blush to her cheeks and a smile to her lips.
“And this, alas! is more than we would do.”
Gabriel had stopped her. She would have given herself to him gladly because she loved him. For her, it was not a matter of if she would make love with him, but when. But Gabriel had mumbled something against her naked breast and stopped.
He’d been so afraid that she would abandon him when she found out about his relationship with Paulina and the tragic loss of their child. But if anything, his confession had brought them closer. At least she’d been able to make that clear to him.
And in three days, perhaps, we will be as close as a couple can be. In two days they would leave for Italy, and she would accompany Gabriel to his lecture as his girlfriend. And when their time in Florence was ended, perhaps they would travel to Venice or Umbria as lovers.
Despite everything she and Gabriel had experienced, she felt very much at peace in his shirt and in his chair. They belonged to one another, she believed this. And as long as the Fates did not conspire against them, they would have their happiness. She hoped. However, the knowledge that Paulina had the ability to throw Gabriel into a tailspin with a single telephone call troubled her deeply.
Sylvain Reynard
468
No less than an hour later, Gabriel strolled into the living room, scratching his head and yawning. His hair was messy with the exception of one perfect, errant curl that had taken a liking to his forehead. He was wearing a pair of faded blue jeans, his glasses, and nothing else. He wasn’t even wearing socks. (Parenthetically, it should be noted that even Gabriel’s feet were attractive.)
“Good afternoon, my love.” He caressed her cheek with his fingers and leaned over to kiss her firmly. “I like your…outfit.” His eyes took in the naked flesh that was visible below the edge of the shirttail.
“I like your outfit too. You’re looking awfully casual this morning, Professor.”
He leaned forward and gave her a heated look. “Miss Mitchell, you’re lucky I decided to put on any clothes at all.” He chuckled at her fierce blush and disappeared into the kitchen.
Oh, gods of all virgins who are planning to have sex with their sex-god (no blasphemy intended) boyfriends, please don’t let me spontaneously combust when he finally takes me to bed. I really need a Gabriel-induced orgasm, especially after last night. Please. Please. Pretty please…
A few minutes later he reappeared and sank down on the couch with his coffee cup, scrubbing at his stubble with one hand. At length, he frowned in her direction.
“You’re too far away.” He patted his knee invitingly.
She grinned and walked over to him, allowing him to guide her so that she was seated comfortably on his lap. Gabriel crooked an appreciative arm around her hips, pulling her shirt up so that he could rest it comfortably against the lace of her boy shorts.
“And how is Miss Mitchell this morning?”
“Tired,” she sighed. “But happy.” Her eyes darted to his. “If it’s okay for me to say that.”
“It is. I’m happy too. And God, so relieved.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, exhaling a very deep breath. “I was certain I’d lose you.”
“Why?”
“Julianne, if one were doing a cost-benefit analysis, I would be a high-cost, high-risk, low-benefit venture.”
“Nonsense. I don’t see you that way at all.”
He gave her a half-smile. “Only because you are the soul of forgiveness and compassion. Although I must admit, my best qualities and talents have heretofore remained hidden.” Now his voice was husky, and the familiar
Gabriel’s Inferno
469
spark of sensuality lit his blue eyes. “But I look forward to placing them entirely at your service again and again and again, ad infinitum, until you are weary of both them and me. And entirely, blissfully sated.”
Julia swallowed. Hard.
He reached up to kiss her forehead, placing his coffee on the side table so that he could wrap her in his arms. “Thank you for staying.”
“I love you, Gabriel. You have to accept the fact that I’m not going anywhere.”
He hugged her in response, but remained silent.
“And you don’t have to win me sexually. You’ve already won me,” she whispered. “Your best quality is your heart, Gabriel, not your sexual prowess. It’s your heart I fell in love with.”
He was silent for so long, Julia thought she had upset him. Or insulted him.
Not a wise move to insult a prospective lover’s lovemaking skills before you’ve had the opportunity to sample them. She opened her mouth to apologize, but he stopped her.
He kissed her firmly, a closed mouth kiss that quickly developed into the tugging of lips, the gentle play of tongues, and the caressing of cheeks.
When he pulled away, he crushed her to his chest and whispered in her ear. “You strip me bare. You see through everything. You are the only one who has ever known everything and still wanted me. Only you, my beloved.”
She’d known intuitively that Gabriel used his sexuality as a shield to keep true intimacy and love at bay. But with his admission, she realized how painful and lonely it must have been for him all those years, and that was after the soul-crushing time in which he was invisible to his mother and the painful adjustment of becoming an adopted child. Having recognized all of this, in addition to his sorrow over Maia, she tried very hard to fight back tears, for she didn’t want to upset him, but she couldn’t stop them.
“Sssshhh, don’t cry,” Gabriel breathed. He wiped away her tears and kissed her forehead. “I love you. Please don’t cry. Not because of me.”
She snuggled in his arms and worked at stemming the flow of tears. He rubbed her back, gently petting her over and over. And when she was calm, she spoke.
“I love you, Gabriel. And I can’t help but think that Grace would be very proud of you.”
He frowned. “I’m not sure about that. But she would certainly be proud of you and all you’ve accomplished.”
Sylvain Reynard
470
Julia smiled. “Grace had the gift of mercy.”
“She did. Your choice of words is very interesting. A Severe Mercy was one of Grace’s favorite books. She tried for years to get me to read it. I have a copy of it somewhere in the study. Maybe I should look for it.”
“What’s it about?”
“A young couple. The man ends up studying at Oxford, and I believe he becomes a protégé of C.S. Lewis. It’s a true story.”
“I’d love to go to Oxford, to see where the Inklings drank their beer and spun their tales. Katherine Picton talks about Oxford a lot.”
Gabriel kissed her forehead. “I’d love to take you. I can show you the statues at Magdalen College that inspired Lewis to write about the stone animals in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. We could go in June, if you like.”
Julia smiled and kissed him back. “If you lend me Grace’s book, I’ll take it to Italy. It might be nice to have something to read during our vacation.”
He smirked at her and tapped a single finger to the end of her nose. “What makes you think I’ll let you have time enough to read?”
She blushed and fumbled a vague response, but Gabriel continued, a grave expression on his face.
“I’m sorry we had to stop last night. It isn’t right for me to tease you like that and just…” He searched her eyes for her reaction.
She wrapped her arms around him and embraced him tenderly. “It was an incredibly emotional evening. I was happy to be close to you and to fall asleep in your arms. I just wanted to comfort you any way I could. You don’t need to apologize.”
He cupped her face in both hands. “Julianne, your mere presence comforts me. But I was exhausted, and I’d been drinking…a recipe for disaster.” He shook his head and looked ashamed. “I didn’t want our first time together to have so much baggage, with all the ghosts of my past swirling in the air. I want us to go to a place that is ours alone and make some new memories. Some happy ones.”
“Of course. Although I must say that I was pretty happy with our interactions last night.” She laughed lightly and kissed him.
He returned her kiss eagerly. “So you aren’t upset?”
“Gabriel, you are a gentleman worth waiting for. What kind of person would I be if I threw a tantrum because you said stop? If I were to say stop, I would hope that you would accept it and not get angry.”
Gabriel’s Inferno
471
He frowned. “Of course, Julianne. You can always say stop.”
“Well, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”
“So I’m a gander now, am I?” He kissed her once again.
“It’s better than being a geezer.”
“Oh, no.” He squeezed her tightly. “No age jokes. I’m sensitive enough about our age difference.”
She tossed her hair. “Our souls have to be about the same age. So who’s counting?”
He tugged at her ponytail. “You’re incredible. You’re intelligent and funny, and damn, you’re gorgeous. Last night, kissing your breasts…” He placed a hand reverently over her heart. “You rival Botticelli’s muse.”
“Botticelli?”
“Haven’t you noticed how several of his paintings all feature the same woman? She is the topic of my lecture for the Uffizi Gallery — Botticelli’s muse.”
Julia smiled at him sweetly, placing a corresponding hand on his heart. “I can’t wait.”
“Neither can I.”
After a lonely shower, Julia had a deuce of a time convincing Gabriel to let her out of his sight so that she could go shopping. He insisted on accompanying her. But when she finally explained that she wanted to shop for lingerie, alone, he relented.
“Promise me you’ll stay with me until we leave for Italy.” He looked at her through his eyebrows.
“I have to pack. My suitcase and all my things are at my apartment.”
“When you’ve finished shopping, take a cab home and pack before you have the driver bring you back here. I have to run a few errands, but you have your own key and security card to let yourself in.”
“And what kind of errands does Professor Emerson have to do today?”
He smiled at her seductively, and Julia felt her boy shorts slip along her hips as if they were intending to take a header to the floor.
“Perhaps I have my own shopping to do for — ah — personal items.” He leaned forward to press his lips against her ear, his voice a smooth whisper. “I told you I was a good lover, Julianne. Trust me. I will anticipate your every need.”
She shivered at the way his breath breezed across her neck, almost fluttering the omnipresent scarf she wore to hide her scar. She had no idea
Sylvain Reynard
472
what he was implying, but she found herself tantalized by the way his words tripped off his tongue.
He owned her, body and soul.
P
While Julia was pulling lingerie from the store racks to add to her ever expanding pile of items to try on, her iPhone chirped. She quickly checked it and found a text:
What are you looking at? — G
She giggled slightly and typed a short response:
Very tiny things. — Julia
Gabriel replied immediately:
How tiny? — G
P.S. Send pictures
Julia rolled her eyes as she hit reply:
Too tiny. No pictures — they’d ruin the surprise. Love, Julia
It took a little longer for Gabriel’s next text to arrive:
Darling, No picture could ruin the experience of seeing you
in all your glory for the first time…You’re that beautiful. Love, G
Julia’s fingers couldn’t type fast enough:
Thank you, Gabriel. I love you
Gabriel’s final text message reached her just as she entered the dressing room:
I love you too, sweetheart. Have fun…Hurry home to me. — G
Gabriel’s Inferno
473
The next two days were a whirlwind as Gabriel finished his administrative duties for the university, ensuring that all his grades were submitted. The semester was finally over.
Julia made a special trip to a spa for some pre-Italy pampering. In keeping with her low pain tolerance and overall Mediterranean sensibility, she politely declined the aesthetician’s invitation to embrace all things Brazilian.
Gabriel had kept most of their travel plans a secret, wishing to surprise her. So it was with amazement that their arrival in Florence on a warmer than usual December day resulted in the happy couple walking into the Gallery Hotel Art. The hotel was upscale, modern, and located very close to the Ponte Vecchio, Julia’s favorite bridge, and a few minutes from the Ponte Santa Trinita, which was featured in Holiday’s painting of Dante and Beatrice.
The concierge, Paolo, greeted them immediately. Although Gabriel had not stayed in his hotel before, Paolo had been instructed by Dottore Massimo Vitali, the Executive Director of the Uffizi Gallery, to extend every courtesy to Professor Emerson and his fidanzata. In fact, Paolo himself accompanied the bellhop and the lovers to their seventh-floor suite, which was called the Palazzo Vecchio Penthouse.
Julia gasped as the men parted like the Red Sea before her so that she could enter first. It was, perhaps, the loveliest room she’d ever seen. The floor was a dark hardwood offset with light-colored walls. The sitting room was graced with elegantly modern furniture and a sliding glass wall that partitioned it from the bedroom.
The bedroom itself was spacious and featured a large bed that was piled high with crisp, white linens. Mere steps away was a glass door that opened out onto the rooftop terrazza, which allowed bright sunlight to spill over the bed, illuminating it. One of the bathrooms boasted a huge pedestal bathtub, not unlike the tub Julia had enjoyed in their hotel in Philadelphia, while the other bathroom had a shower and two matching vanities. Gabriel took one look at the bathtub and decided that he needed to share it with Julianne that very evening.
But the crowning glory of the space was the terrazza itself, which offered breathtaking views of the Duomo, the Palazzo, and the surrounding hills. Julia envisioned curling up with Gabriel on the comfortable futon bed, which dominated the terrace, with a glass of Chianti, looking up at the stars. Or perhaps (she blushed), making love with him by candlelight underneath those same stars.
Orgasms with Gabriel by starlight…
Sylvain Reynard
474
Once they were alone, Julia hugged him tightly and thanked him over and over again for choosing such a beautiful room.
“It’s all for you, my love.” He kissed her softly. “All for you.”
Truthfully, he would have liked nothing better than to spread Julianne out on the bed and make love to her immediately, but she hadn’t slept well on the airplane, and he knew that she was tired. She yawned twice in a row and giggled when he tried to kiss her.
“I should clean up and pay a visit to the Uffizi. Would it be all right if I left you on your own? You can take a nap, if you like, or I could ask the concierge to book a massage for you in the spa.”
Julia’s eyes lit up at the latter offering, but she knew she was too sleepy to enjoy it. “A nap sounds good. I know it isn’t the best strategy for overcoming jet lag, but I will be much better company over dinner and, um, later on, if I have a little more sleep.” She blushed.
Gabriel traced a single finger around her jaw line. “I’ll only say this once, Julianne. There is no rush. We can take our time tonight and just relax. Although I think it would be nice if we were to try out the bathtub. Together.” His lips curled up into a sexy half-smile.
“I’d like that,” she said.
He kissed her nose, chuckling. “I requested special amenities from the Farmacia di Santa Maria Novella. See if any of the scents are to your liking, and we’ll use them. In the meantime, I’ll book our dinner reservations for nine or nine thirty.”
“Sure. Where will we go?”
He smiled widely. “The Palazzo dell’Arte dei Giudici. Do you know it?”
“I’ve walked by it, but no, I didn’t know they had a restaurant.”
“I’m looking forward to showing it to you.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. “I ordered a fruit basket and a few bottles of sparkling water. Charge what you like to the room.” He grinned. “Although save the champagne to share with me later. In the tub.”
Julia looked down at her feet. “You’re spoiling me.”
He lifted her chin. “No, my love, not spoiling. Just treating you as you deserve to have been treated all along. You’ve been surrounded by fools your whole life. Of whom I was chief.”
“Gabriel, you are many things, but a fool you are not.” She leaned up on tiptoes to brush his lips with her own before leaving to take a shower.
Gabriel’s Inferno
475
A few hours later, Gabriel returned from a cordial meeting with his friend Massimo Vitali. Over espresso, the gentlemen discussed Gabriel’s lecture the following evening and the plans for an elaborate banquet to be held inside the Uffizi in his honor. Gabriel was very grateful for the gesture, but more on behalf of Julianne than himself, for he thought only of how pleased she would be to participate in such a festive event. And in her favorite art gallery.
Entering the penthouse, Gabriel walked through the sitting room to the bedroom and found Julia asleep in the geographic center of the bed, on top of the covers. She was wearing champagne-colored satin pajamas, her long hair flowing around her head like a warm mahogany halo. She looked like a dark-haired Sleeping Beauty.
He watched her sleep for a moment and pressed a kiss to her cheek. When she didn’t stir, he decided to pour himself a drink and sit out on the terrace until it was time to wake her. Truthfully, he was glad to have a moment to himself to plan and dream about the next few days. He felt as if the world had been lifted from his shoulders. Not only did she know the truth about Paulina and Maia, but she still loved him. And they’d escaped the wrath of the judicial committee and survived the academic semester together. He had much for which to be grateful. And most of all, he had his Julianne all to himself for two entire weeks.
Julia is not the kind of girl you screw around with. She’s the kind of girl you marry. Scott’s words resounded in his ears.
Scott was right. Julianne was special: an intelligent, compassionate beauty who loved deeply and gave freely. She deserved much more than just an affair, although Gabriel refused to consider their relationship an affair, no matter what people might say. He stealthily patted the small velvet box he’d hidden in his jacket pocket. The thought of being in a long-term relationship had always been so remote. Julianne had changed all that.
Tonight his plan was to show her how much he loved her. To adore her and to relax her. A bubble bath, a massage…anything he could do to make her comfortable with having him see her body. Julianne was still shy with him, and he wanted her to feel sexy and desirable. Simon had wrought deep fissures in her confidence. She thought she was frigid. She thought she was clumsy and sexually inadequate. She feared she would disappoint Gabriel when they eventually made love.
Gabriel knew that it would take a long time to dispel those lies and to heal those wounds. He was resolved to build her confidence incrementally, to help her see herself as he saw her — sexy, attractive, and passionate.
Sylvain Reynard
476
The only way he could do this would be to take his time and be patient and affirming. He was looking forward to demonstrating his love for her and subjecting all of his erotic arts to her service. She would never demand such things, such attention, which made the thought of giving everything to her so much more satisfying.
If their relationship was more advanced and Julianne was less shy, he would suggest that they make love on the terrace. The thought of how Julianne’s rose and cream skin would glow in the starlight made his heart soar and his trousers twitch. But having sex outside would likely be too nerve-wracking for her, and he’d be damned if he’d push her to do anything that would make her even remotely uncomfortable.
We’ll just have to come back…

Gabriel's Inferno - Chapter 31


Chapter 31
By Friday, Professor Emerson was in a foul mood. He’d spent almost an entire week without Julianne, and he’d had to watch her walk away with Paul after his seminar, without so much as a glance in his direction. He had to keep his distance when all he wanted to do was touch her and tell everyone she was his. Sleeping naked in the darkness, the demons had come and nightmares had taunted and oppressed him — nightmares normally held at bay by her very presence, a luminescence unequalled by the brightest star. A star he would soon have to live without.
He knew that he had to tell his secrets before they boarded the plane. Thus, he rued the fact that his (possibly) last week with Julianne had been spent alone. He’d changed his ticket and made all of the reservations for Julianne to accompany him to Florence, but he did so half-heartedly and not without investing in travel cancellation insurance, for he truly believed that she would leave him. He dreaded the moment when her wide, innocent eyes would darken and she would reject him as unworthy. But he would not allow her to gift her innocence to such a demon unknowingly. He would not play Cupid to her Psyche.
For that would be demonic.
Consequently, it was with undisguised coolness that he greeted her Friday evening when she arrived in time for dinner. He kissed her forehead fraternally and stepped aside, indicating that she should enter.
Abandon hope, he thought to himself.
Julia knew that something was wrong, and it wasn’t solely because she could hear the strains of Puccini’s Madama Butterfly wafting from the living room. Usually Gabriel greeted her with a hug and a few passionate kisses before removing her coat. Instead he stood there, not even making eye contact, waiting for her to speak.
Gabriel’s Inferno
453
“Gabriel?” She reached up to touch his face. “Is something wrong?”
“No,” he lied, turning his face away. “Can I get you a drink?”
Julia resisted the urge to nag him for information and instead requested a glass of wine. She hoped he would be more forthcoming over dinner.
He wasn’t. He served their dinner in silence, and when Julia tried to make polite small talk over the roast beef, he responded monosyllabically. She told him she’d completed all of her schoolwork for the semester and that Katherine Picton had agreed to turn her grades in before December eighth, but Gabriel only nodded in response, glaring into his soon to be empty wine glass.
Julia had never seen him drink so heavily. He was already drunk the night she rescued him at Lobby. But this night was different. He wasn’t flirtatious and happy, he was tormented. With each glass, she grew more and more worried, but every time she opened her mouth to say something, she would catch a glimpse of fleeting sadness on his face, which made her refrain. He grew progressively cooler and more detached with each drink, so much so that by the time he served one of his housekeeper’s homemade apple pies for dessert, Julia waved it aside and demanded that he silence Maria Callas so that they could talk.
That drew his attention, since the pie (and the Butterfly) was the culmination of his supper. His Last Supper.
“Nothing is wrong,” he huffed, as he strode over to the stereo to stop the operatic performance.
“Gabriel, don’t lie to me. It’s obvious you’re upset. Just tell me. Please.”
The sight of Julianne, innocent Julianne, with her big brown eyes and her now furrowed brow almost undid him.
Did she have to be so sweet? So giving? Did she have to be compassionate? With a beautiful soul?
His guilt compounded. Perhaps it was a mercy that he hadn’t seduced her. Her heart would mend more readily now, since they had not known each other sexually. They’d only been together for a few weeks. She would dry her tears quickly and maybe find a quiet, peaceful affection with someone good and constant, like Paul.
The thought made him violently ill.
Without a word, he walked over to the sideboard and grabbed one of the decanters and a crystal glass. He returned to his seat and poured two fingers’ worth of Scotch. He drank half of it in one swallow and thumped
Sylvain Reynard
454
his glass down roughly. He waited for the burning sensation in his throat to abate. He waited for the liquid courage to adhere to his insides, fortifying him. But it would take much more Scotch to dull the ache in his heart.
He took a deep breath. “I have some — unpleasant things to tell you. And I know that when I’m finished, I’ll lose you.”
“Gabriel, please. I — ”
“Please, just let me say it.” He tugged at his hair wildly. “Before I lose my courage.”
He closed his eyes and inhaled once again. And when he opened them, he peered over at her like a wounded dragon. “You are looking at a murderer.”
Sounds hit her ears but didn’t sink into her consciousness. She thought she’d heard wrong.
“Not only am I a murderer, I took innocent life.
“If you can stand to remain in the same room with me for a few minutes, I’ll explain how this came to be.” He waited for her to react, but she sat quietly, so he continued. “I went to Magdalen College, Oxford, for my master’s degree. You know this already. What you don’t know is that while I was there I met an American girl called Paulina.”
Julia inhaled sharply, and Gabriel paused. Every time she’d asked him about Paulina he’d always put her off. He’d tried to make her think that she was not a threat, but Julia hadn’t believed him. Of course Paulina was a threat to their creeping closeness. Paulina had pulled him away in the middle of dinner back in October. And before he’d run away Gabriel had stood, haggard, quoting Lady Macbeth. Julia trembled slightly in anticipation.
“Paulina was an undergraduate. She was attractive, tall and regal with blond hair. She liked to tell people that she was related to the Russian aristocracy, an Anastasia of sorts. We became friends and would spend time together on occasion, but it wasn’t physical. I was seeing other girls, and she was pining away for someone…”
He cleared his throat nervously.
“I graduated and moved to Harvard. We kept in touch via e-mail for a year or so, very casually, and she told me she’d been accepted to Harvard for her master’s degree. She was studying to become a Dostoyevsky specialist. She needed help finding a place to live, so I told her about a vacancy in my building. She moved in that August.”
He gazed at Julia searchingly. She nodded, trying to keep her trepidation from showing on her face.
Gabriel’s Inferno
455
“The year she arrived was my most difficult. I was working on my dissertation along with being a teaching assistant to a very demanding professor. I was staying up all hours writing and getting very little sleep. That was when I started doing cocaine.” His gaze dropped, and he fidgeted with his hands, drumming atop the table.
“I used to go drinking with the guys from my program on the weekends. We’d get into fights, on occasion.” He laughed. “I wasn’t always on my best behavior, and sometimes we’d go out looking for trouble. It paid off, though, with Simon.”
He leaned forward in his chair, resting his forearms on top of his knees. Julia watched his legs bounce nervously. With every sentence he grew more restless, indicating that he was approaching closer and closer to the edge of the abyss in which he had hidden his secret.
“One night someone passed around some coke. I wondered if it would help me stay up so I could work. That’s how it started. I used it as a stimulant, and I alternated its use with alcohol. I thought because I went to Harvard, I was a respectable recreational drug user. I thought I could control it.” He sighed deeply and the tone of his voice dropped. “I was wrong.”
“Paulina was constantly around. She’d knock on my door at all hours because I was always awake. I’d write, and she’d sit on my couch and read or make Russian tea. She started cooking for me. Eventually, I gave her a key since she was over all the time. When I was doing coke, I didn’t eat much. She was the only reason I ate anything nutritious at all.”
Now Gabriel’s voice took on a darker tone, as if the guilt inside him was clawing to get out. He read the question in her eyes and his jaw set.
“She knew about the cocaine. At first I tried to hide it, but she was always there. Finally, I gave up and started doing it in front of her. She didn’t care.”
Now he avoided Julia’s gaze. He looked ashamed. “She’d lived a sheltered life. She was completely innocent about drugs and a lot of other things. I was a corrupting influence. One night, she stripped out of her clothes and suggested we snort lines off one another. I wasn’t thinking straight, obviously, and she was naked…”
He exhaled slowly and shook his head, keeping his eyes on his fidgeting hands. “I won’t make excuses. It was my fault. She was a nice girl who was used to getting what she wanted. And she wanted me — the drug addict downstairs.” He rubbed at his chin with the back of his hand, and Julia suddenly realized he hadn’t shaved that morning.
Sylvain Reynard
456
He squirmed in his chair. “The next morning I told her I’d made a mistake. I wasn’t interested in being monogamous. The coke made me crave sex, although it eventually impaired my satisfaction. Karma, I suppose. I was used to being with different women every weekend. But when I told her all of this, she said she didn’t care. No matter what I said or did, or how much of an asshole I was to her, she kept coming around. So that’s how it was. She acted as if she was my girlfriend, and I acted as if she was a convenient lay. I didn’t care about her, I only cared about myself and the drugs and the damned dissertation.”
Julia felt her heart sink. She knew that Gabriel had never wanted for female companionship. He was a handsome man who was sensual in the extreme. Women fell all over themselves in order to attract his attention. Julia wasn’t pleased about his past, but she’d accepted it and told herself that it didn’t matter.
But Paulina was different. She’d known this intuitively from the first time she heard the name. Even though she believed Gabriel was no longer involved with her, what he was beginning to describe was much more serious than a one-night stand. The green specter of jealousy curled around her heart, squeezing it.
Gabriel stood up and started pacing, back and forth and back and forth. “Everything came to a crashing halt when she told me that she was pregnant. I accused her of trying to entrap me and told her to get rid of it.” His face contorted with emotion, and he looked as if he were in pain.
“She cried. She got on her knees and said that she’d been in love with me since Oxford and that she wanted my baby. I wouldn’t listen. I threw some money at her for an abortion and pushed her out of my apartment as if she were trash.” Gabriel groaned — a twisted cry that seemed to come from the depths of his soul. He rubbed at his eyes with his fingers.
Julia placed a shaking hand to her mouth. She hadn’t expected this. But as her mind raced ahead, a number of pieces of the puzzle that was Professor Emerson began to come together.
“I didn’t see her again for a long time. I assumed she’d had the abortion. I didn’t even bother to find out, that’s how fucked up I was. A couple of months later, I stumbled into the kitchen one morning and found an ultrasound snapshot on my refrigerator. With a note.”
He slumped back in his chair and placed his head in his hands. “She wrote, ‘This is your daughter, Maia. Isn’t she beautiful?’” Gabriel’s words were half strangled by the sob that escaped from his chest.
Gabriel’s Inferno
457
“I could see the outline of her little head and nose, her tiny arms and legs. Little hands and little feet. She was beautiful. This beautiful, fragile little baby. My little girl. Maia.” He swallowed another sob. “I didn’t know. It wasn’t real. She wasn’t real until I saw her picture and…” Gabriel was crying.
Julia saw tears roll down his cheeks, and her heart ached. As her own eyes filled with tears she moved to go to him, but he raised a hand to stop her.
“I told Paulina I’d help with the baby. Of course, I was broke. I’d spent all my money on drugs and had already run up a tab with my dealer. Paulina knew that and somehow she still wanted me. We got back together, and she’d read on my couch while I wrote my dissertation. She stayed away from the drugs and tried to take care of herself and the baby. I tried to quit, but I couldn’t.”
He pulled his head up to look over at Julia. “Do you want to hear the rest? Or are you ready to leave now?”
She didn’t hesitate. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Of course I want to hear the rest.”
He clung to her tightly, but only for a moment before he pushed her away and wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand. She stood to one side awkwardly while he continued his confession.
“Paulina’s parents lived in Minnesota. They weren’t wealthy, but they would send her money. Grace used to send me money too, whenever I called her. Somehow we were able to stay afloat. Or at least, delay the inevitable. But I used most of the money for drugs.” He laughed darkly. “What kind of man takes money away from a pregnant woman and wastes it on cocaine?”
He quickly continued. “One night in September, I went on a bender. I was gone for a couple of days, and when I finally came home I collapsed on the sofa. I didn’t even make it to the bedroom. I woke up the next morning completely hungover. I stumbled down the hall and saw blood on the floor.”
Gabriel covered his eyes with his palms, as if he were trying to blot out the vision. Julia found herself holding her breath as she waited for his next revelation.
“I followed the trail and found Paulina lying on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood. I tried to find her pulse, but I couldn’t. I thought she was dead.” He was silent for a few minutes.
“If I’d checked on her when I got home, I could have called an ambulance. But I didn’t. I was high, and I crashed, and I didn’t care about anyone but myself. When they told me she lost the baby, I knew it was my
Sylvain Reynard
458
fault. It was a completely preventable death. I might as well have killed her with my own hands.”
He held his hands in front of his face and turned them slowly, as if he were regarding them for the first time. “I am a murderer, Julianne. A drug-addicted murderer.”
She opened her mouth to contradict him, but he quickly cut her off.
“Paulina spent weeks in the hospital, first with physical problems, then with depression. I had to take a leave of absence from Harvard because I was too drugged up or drunk to work. I owed thousands of dollars to some dangerous people and had no way of coming up with the money. Paulina tried to kill herself in the hospital, so I wanted to check her into a private mental health facility, somewhere where they would be gentle with her. When I called her parents begging them to help, they told me I was a disgrace. That I needed to marry her, then they’d help us.”
He paused. “I would have done it. But Paulina was too unstable to even discuss it. I made up my mind that I would discharge my duty to her, and then kill myself. That would put an end to all of our problems.”
Gabriel looked up at her with cold, dead eyes. “So you see, Julianne, I am one of the damned. Through my own depraved indifference I caused the death of a child and the permanent destruction of a young woman’s bright future. It would have been better if I had had a millstone hung around my neck and been cast into the sea.”
“It was an accident,” said Julia quietly. “It wasn’t your fault.”
He laughed bitterly. “It wasn’t my fault that I had sex with Paulina and made a baby? It wasn’t my fault that I treated her like a whore, addicted her to drugs, and pressured her to have an abortion? It wasn’t my fault that I stumbled in, high, and didn’t even bother to check to see if she was in my apartment?”
Julia took his hands in hers and grasped them tightly. “Gabriel, listen to me. You contributed to the situation, yes, but it was an accident. If there was so much blood, then something was wrong with the baby. If you hadn’t called the ambulance when you did, Paulina would have died. You saved her.”
He wouldn’t look up, but she moved her hand to his chin and forced him to look at her. “You saved her. You said yourself that you wanted the baby. You didn’t want the baby to die.”
He flinched beneath her touch, but she would not release him. “You are not a murderer. It was just a tragic accident.”
Gabriel’s Inferno
459
“You don’t understand.” His voice was cold, listless. “I am just like he is. He used you, and I used her. I did more than use her. I treated her as if she were a plaything and gave her drugs, when I should have protected her. What kind of devil am I?”
“You are nothing like him,” she hissed, her emotions getting the better of her. “He has no remorse for what he did to me, and given the opportunity he would do it again. Or worse.”
She took a deep breath and held it. “Gabriel, you made some mistakes. You did terrible things. But you’re sorry for them. You’ve been trying to make up for them for years. Shouldn’t that count for something?”
“All the money in the world cannot pay for a life.”
“A life you didn’t take,” she countered, eyes flashing.
He hid his face in his hands. This was not how he expected this conversation to go.
Why is she still here? Why hasn’t she left me?
She stepped backward and watched him momentarily. She could feel the despair rolling off of him in waves as she frantically wracked her brain to find some way to reach him.
“Do you know Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables?”
“Of course,” he muttered. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“The hero abandons his sin and performs a penance; he looks after a young girl as if she were his own daughter. But all the while, a policeman hunts him, convinced that he hasn’t reformed. Wouldn’t you rather be the person performing penance than the policeman?”
Gabriel didn’t answer.
“Do you think that you should have to suffer for your sin forever?”
No response.
“Because it seems that’s what you’re saying — you won’t allow yourself to be happy. You won’t allow yourself to have children. You think you’ve lost your soul. But what about redemption, Gabriel? What about forgiveness?”
“I don’t deserve it.”
“What sinner deserves it?” She shook her head. “When I told you about what happened with him, you told me to forgive myself and let myself be happy. Why can’t you do the same thing?”
He looked down at the floor. “Because you were the victim. I’m the killer.”
Sylvain Reynard
460
“Let’s say that’s true. What would be an appropriate penance, Gabriel? How would justice be served?”
“An eye for an eye,” he muttered.
“Fine. An eye for an eye would mean that you would have to save the life of a child. You’re responsible for the death of a child, so justice requires that you give back a life. Not coins, not presents, but life.”
He sat motionless, but she knew he was listening.
“You saved Paulina’s life, but I know you won’t count that. So you need to save the life of someone else’s child. Wouldn’t that pay for your sin? Or at least offer some kind of restitution?”
“It wouldn’t bring Maia back. But it would be something. It would make me less — evil.” Gabriel’s shoulders hunched in his chair as he hung his head low.
The pain in his voice almost rent Julia’s heart in two, but she continued bravely. “You would have to find a child who was in danger of dying and save her. And that would be atonement.”
He nodded slightly, stifling a groan.
Julia sank down on her knees, taking his hands in hers. “Don’t you see, Gabriel? I am that child.”
He lifted his head and stared at her as if she were mad, his watery eyes boring into her own.
“Simon could have killed me. He was so angry when I slapped him, he was going to break through my bedroom door and kill me. Even if I had called nine-one-one, they never would have arrived in time.
“But you saved me. You pulled him away from my door. You kept him from going back into the house. I am alive now only because of you. I am Tom’s baby girl, and you saved my life.”
He remained motionless, entirely without words.
“A life for a life — that’s what you said. You think you took a life, and now you’ve saved one.
“You have to forgive yourself. Ask Paulina to forgive you, ask God to forgive you, but you have to forgive yourself.”
“It isn’t enough,” he whispered, his great, sad eyes still wet with tears.
“It won’t bring your daughter back, that’s true. But think about the gift you gave Tom — his only daughter. Turn our debt into penance. You are not a devil, you’re an angel. My angel.”
Gabriel’s Inferno
461
Gabriel stared at her quietly, trying to read her eyes, her lips, her expression. When he was finished, he held his hand out and drew her into his arms, settling her on his lap. He held her for what seemed like forever as his tears spilled onto her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I waited so long to tell you. I’m sorry my story is true. I’ve killed your faith in me. I know that.”
“I still love you.”
She tried to soothe him by murmuring in his ear, by letting him release his grief through his tears. And when his tears finally subsided, she touched the buttons of his white shirt and began undoing them quickly, before he could ask what she was doing. She peeled the shirt back from his naked chest and ran her fingers around his tattoo. Then slowly, very slowly, she lowered her lips to the dragon’s mouth and kissed it.
When she sat back, Gabriel stared at her in silent wonder.
She removed her scarf and gently lifted his hand so that he was touching her bite mark, a mark that had faded slightly but not disappeared. And she placed her hand on top of his tattoo. He winced and closed his eyes.
“We both have scars. And maybe you’re right, they won’t disappear. But I am your atonement, Gabriel. My life is your gift to a father who could have lost his child forever. Thank you.”
“I’m a hypocrite.” His voice was rough. “I told Tom he was a terrible father. What kind of father was I?”
“A young one. An inexperienced one. You shouldn’t have been taking drugs. But you wanted Maia. You said so yourself.”
He shuddered as they clung to one another.
“Nothing I can say will bring her back. But if it would comfort you, I would say that I believe your little girl is singing with the blessed in Paradise. With Grace.” She wiped his tears away. “I’m sure that Grace and Maia would want you to find love and forgiveness. They would pray for your redemption. They wouldn’t think that you’re evil.”
“How can you be sure?” he whispered.
“I learned this from you. Canto thirty-two of Dante’s Paradiso describes the special place God has for children. Of such are the kingdom of heaven. And in Paradise, there is only love and forgiveness. No hatred. No malice. Only peace.”
He pulled her close and the couple, held one another tightly. Julia could not have imagined Gabriel’s secret. And although she was distressed
Sylvain Reynard
462
with the way his melancholy disposition had fashioned his grief, his grief was something she could not deny.
She hadn’t loved a child only to see the child die. So she was moved with compassion for him and an abiding will to help him recognize his own self-worth and to accept that he was loveable, despite his past sins. Seated on his lap with his tears still dampening her blouse, the picture that was Gabriel Emerson became strikingly clear. In many ways, he was very much a frightened little boy, fearful that no one would forgive him his faults. Or love him in spite of them.
But she would.
“Gabriel, you can’t be comfortable in this chair.”
He nodded against her shoulder.
“Come.” She stood up and took his hand, pulling him to his feet. She led him over to the sofa and encouraged him to sit down, while she flipped the switch for the fireplace.
He kicked off his shoes, and she coaxed him to stretch out lengthwise, resting his head in her lap. She traced his eyebrows and began running her fingers through his uncombed hair. He closed his eyes.
“Where is Paulina now?”
“In Boston. When I received my inheritance, I set up a trust fund for her and bought her an apartment. She has been in and out of rehab a couple of times. But she’s well looked after, and she went back to Harvard part-time a year or two ago.”
“What happened the night she called during our dinner?”
Gabriel gave her a puzzled look before recognition flashed across his face. “I forgot that you heard that call. She’d been drinking and got into a car accident. She was hysterical on the phone, and I thought I was going to have to fly down there. She only calls when she’s in trouble. Or when she wants something.”
“So what happened?”
“I ran back to my apartment, but before I left for the airport, I called my lawyer in Boston. He met her at the hospital and assured me that she wasn’t as badly injured as she led me to believe. But she was charged a day or so later. There was nothing I could do but hire someone to defend her. She has been pretty good lately, but this happens from time to time.”
Perhaps it was the flickering glow of the fire. Perhaps it was the stress of having revealed his darkest secret. But at that moment Gabriel looked remarkably old and weary for his thirty-something years.
Gabriel’s Inferno
463
“Do you love her?”
Gabriel shook his head. “I don’t think my feelings count as love, although I feel something for her. She was never familiar to me, much to my shame. But I couldn’t abandon her. Not when her family was so far away and they refused to help. I was the cause of her problems and the possibility that she’ll never have another child.” His voice grew uneven, and he shivered.
“Is that why you decided not to have children?”
“An eye for an eye, remember. When she cried in my arms and told me, I made the decision. I had a hard time convincing a doctor to agree to perform the procedure; they all argued that I was too young and that I would change my mind. But finally, I found someone to do it. Strangely, it comforted me at the time.”
He reached his hand up to caress the curve of Julia’s cheek. “I told her about you. She has always been jealous, but she knows I can’t give her what she wants. Our relationship is — complicated. She will always be part of my life, Julianne. I need you to realize that. That is, if you still…”
She pressed their lips together. “Of course I still love you. You’re supporting her and helping her whenever she gets into trouble. That’s the honorable thing to do.”
“Believe me, Julianne, I am far from honorable.”
“Would you…tell me about your tattoo?”
He sat up so that he could remove his shirt, which he dropped unceremoniously onto the Persian carpet. He reclined on her lap and looked up into her eyes, which radiated acceptance and concern.
“I had it done in Boston after I was released from rehab.”
Julia kissed the dragon once again, very, very gently.
Gabriel inhaled sharply at the feeling of her mouth against his naked flesh.
She moved her hands to stroke his hair, hoping it would comfort him. “What does the dragon represent?”
“The dragon is me or the drugs or both. The heart is mine, and it’s broken, obviously. Maia will always be in my heart. You probably think it’s horrible — to have such a morbid and ugly thing on my body. Permanently.”
“No, Gabriel, I don’t think that. It’s like…a memorial.”
“Paulina was about five months pregnant when she lost the baby. She was not in her right mind and neither was I, so we didn’t have a funeral. A couple of years ago I had a headstone erected for Maia in Boston.” He grasped Julia’s hand in his and kissed her palm.
Sylvain Reynard
464
“She isn’t buried there.” His voice was pained.
“She wouldn’t be there, anyway, Gabriel. She’s with Grace now.”
He paused and stared at her as his eyes filled with tears again. “Thank you for that,” he whispered, pressing his lips to her hand once more. “There’s a stone angel on either side of the headstone. I wanted it to be beautiful.”
“I’m sure it’s lovely.”
“You’ve already received part of her memorial.”
She looked puzzled.
“Your bursary. I named it for her — Maia Paulina Emerson.”
Julia wiped a tear that sprang suddenly from her eye. “I’m so sorry I tried to give it back to you. I didn’t know.”
Gabriel reached up and kissed her nose. “I know that, my love. At the time, I wasn’t ready to explain how significant the bursary was. I only wanted you to have it. No one else was worthy.” He kissed her again softly.
“I should tell you that I asked Rachel about it. She had no idea.”
“No one knows about Maia and Paulina except for Richard. And Grace. I was so ashamed of everything. They thought it would be enough for Scott and Rachel to know about the drugs. No one knows about the tattoo, however. You’re the only one.”
She tangled her fingers in his hair, willing him to find peace. “Your Puccini scared me,” she whispered.
“It seemed…fitting.”
She shook her head.
“The way I treated Paulina. She loved me for years, and I couldn’t love her back.” He shrugged awkwardly and shifted his gaze so that his intensity burned into hers. “I would never treat you like a butterfly, like something I’ve captured for my own amusement. I’d never pin you to a card and pull off your wings.”
She shook her head as a pained look crossed her pretty face. “Gabriel, please. I trust you. You are not Puccini’s Pinkerton. I know that.”
In proof of her declaration, she kissed him, moving her mouth in concert with his until she had to pull back to draw breath.
“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered.
“Maybe we don’t deserve each other, but I can choose who I love. And I choose you.”
He frowned as if he didn’t believe her.
Gabriel’s Inferno
465
“Please let me love you.” Her voice cracked on the last two words, and a stray tear pushed down her cheek.
“As if I could even contemplate living without you.” He drew her to him, the desperate passion of his tortured soul binding the two together.
She met him movement for movement, taking and giving all at once as she leaned over the beautiful man who rested his weary head in her lap. His mouth found her wrists as he kissed them with wet, open kisses, sucking gently at the delicate place where pale veins were covered by rice-paper skin.
“Forgive me, Julianne, but I need you. My sweet, sweet girl. So much.” His eyes were a blue fire, and his voice was gravelly.
Before she knew what was happening, he’d repositioned himself so that he was sitting on the couch and she was straddling him. Their upper bodies pressed tightly together, his hands worshipping the gentle sway of her lower back and the curve of her behind through her wool trousers.
In the back of her mind, Julia recalled one of the black-and-white photographs from Gabriel’s bedroom. And in that instant, she recognized its beauty and its passion from a first person perspective. It was want and need and desperation and deep, deep unconditional love now made free through the telling of dark, hidden secrets.
He felt her love in her kiss, her embrace, the way her fingers lightly brushed the back of his neck and the surface of his tattoo, coaxing open-mouthed kisses up and down the lines of his chest. She would give him everything. She would do anything to take away his pain, including offering up herself.
The Sacrifice of Isaac.
With trembling fingers, she undid the buttons of her blouse and slipped it from her shoulders. A faint gasp from Gabriel’s mouth mirrored the sound of the silk sinking slowly to the floor.
She was his atonement.