Gabriel's Rapture - Chapter 58

Just before sunrise, Julia awoke with a start.
Her handsome husband was by her side, his face boyish in sleep. It was the face of the young man she met on Grace’s back porch. She traced his eyebrows and the stubble on his chin, a tremendous feeling of love flowing through her. A tremendous feeling of contentment and joy.
Not wanting to disturb him, she crept from their bed. She picked up his discarded shirt from the floor and put it on before tiptoeing out to the balcony.
The faintest hint of light shimmered from the horizon, over the gently rolling hills of the Umbrian landscape. The air was chilly, far too cold to be outside in anything other than a hot tub, but the view was unspeakably lovely, and she felt the need to drink in its beauty. Alone.
Growing up, she felt so unworthy of having her deepest desires satisfied, of being loved absolutely. She didn’t feel that way anymore. This morning, expressions of gratitude bubbled up from her soul, wafting Heavenward.
Gabriel stretched out his hand to Julia’s side of the bed, but found only her pillow. It took a moment for him to awake, exhausted as he was with the previous evening and early morning’s activities. They’d made love several times and taken turns worshipping one another’s bodies with mouths and hands.
He smiled. All her fears and anxieties appeared to have vanished. Was it solely because they were married now? Or was it because
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enough time had passed that she knew beyond doubt that he wouldn’t take advantage of her?
He didn’t know. But he was pleased because she had been pleased. And when she gave herself to him in a way that she’d never been able to before, he treasured that gift, knowing that it was given out of love and absolute trust.
Awaking to an empty bed made him nervous, however. So rather than indulge himself in these silent musings, he quickly went in search of his beloved. It didn’t take long for him to find her.
“Are you all right?” he called, as he walked out onto the balcony.
“I’m wonderful. I’m happy.”
“You’ll catch pneumonia,” he chided, slipping off his robe and wrapping it around her.
She turned to thank him and noticed that he was naked. “So will you.”
He grinned, positioning himself in front of her and opening the robe so it wrapped around both of them. She sighed at the pleasurable feeling of their naked bodies pressed tightly together.
“Was everything to your liking?” Gabriel rubbed her back through the robe.
“You couldn’t tell?”
“We didn’t have a lot of conversation, if you recall. Perhaps I kept you up too late. I know we were making up but…”
“I’m a little out of practice, but deliciously worn out.” She flushed. “Last night was even better than our first time together. And certainly, as you put it, more vigorous.”
He chuckled. “I concur.”
“We’ve been through so much. I feel as if our connection is deeper.” She nuzzled his shoulder with her nose. “And I don’t have to worry about you disappearing.”
“I’m yours,” he whispered. “And I feel the connection too. It’s what I needed. It’s what you deserve. When I touch you, when I look into your eyes, I see our history and our future.” He paused and lifted her face so he could see her better. “It’s breathtaking.”
Julia kissed him delicately and snuggled closer in his arms.
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“I spent too long in the shadows.” Gabriel’s voice brimmed with emotion. “I’m looking forward to being in the light. With you.”
She placed a hand on either side of his face, forcing him to see her. “We’re in the light now. And I love you.”
“As I love you, Julianne. I’m yours for this life and the next.”
He kissed her lips once more and led her back into the bedroom.
Fin.

Categories: Gabriel's Rapture

Gabriel's Rapture - Chapter 57

Without breaking the kiss, he picked her up and carried her back inside the house and up the stairs to the master bedroom. He twirled her around, admiring the way the full skirt of her purple dress flared out as she spun.
“I believe I owe you something.”
“And what’s that?” Julia laughed as Gabriel pressed himself up against her back.
He reached over her shoulder to whisper to her. “Make-up sex.”
The tone of his voice goose pimpled her skin.
He rubbed his hands up and down her bare arms. “Are you cold?”
“No. Excited.”
“Excellent.” He brushed her hair aside so his lips could find her neck, and he began plying her with kisses. “And just so you know, I have a lot to make up for. In fact, I think it will take me all night.”
“All night?” asked Julia, coughing slightly.
“All night and into the morning.”
She had already begun to melt into his embrace by the time he retreated, pressing his mouth and tongue eagerly to the curve of her shoulder before letting go.
“While you’re getting ready for bed I want you to think about all the ways I’m going to please you.”
He traced a single finger across her neckline in promise before releasing her with a provocative wink.
Julia gathered her lingerie from her luggage and disappeared into the bathroom. When she went shopping for something to wear on
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their wedding night, she had been intimidated. She was unsure what to choose that he hadn’t seen before.
In a tiny shop on Newbury Street, she had found exactly what she was looking for — a long Merlot colored silk gown with a low neckline. But its crowning glory was the crisscrossing laces in the back, which plunged to an almost indecent level. She chose the gown knowing that he would delight in undoing her. In more ways than one.
She left her hair up and she swiped at her lips with a hint of sheer gloss before stepping into the black stilettos she’d purchased for their honeymoon. Then she opened the bathroom door.
Gabriel was waiting.
The master bedroom was bathed in candlelight, scented with sandalwood, and Julia could hear soft music playing. It was a different playlist than they’d enjoyed before, but she liked it nonetheless.
He approached her in his white shirt and dress pants, his shirt untucked and unbuttoned almost to his waist, his feet bare. He held his hand out, and she joined him, winding her arms around his back.
“You’re exquisite,” he whispered, his hands almost trembling as they traced the bareness of skin that peeked through her laces. “I’d almost forgotten how lovely you are by candlelight. Almost, but not quite.”
She smiled against his chest.
“May I?” He fingered her pinned up hair, and she nodded.
A lesser man would have taken out the hairpins all at once, if he could have found them, freeing the strands quickly so he could move on to something else. But Gabriel was not a lesser man.
Painstakingly, he combed his long fingers through her hair until he alighted on a hairpin and then he gently undid it, letting down a single curl. He repeated this procedure until Julia’s hair fell like waves against her pale shoulders and her body was alive with want.
He cupped her cheeks and looked deeply into her eyes. “Tell me what you desire. The night is yours. I’m yours to command.”
“No commandments.” Julia tasted his lips twice. “Just show me that you love me.”
“Julianne, I love you with all four loves. But tonight is a celebration of eros.”
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Gabriel plied her bare shoulders with urgent, heated kisses before standing behind her and stroking the exposed skin of her back. “Thank you for your gift.”
“My gift?”
“Your body, alluringly wrapped up just for me.” He paused as his eyes swept down to her feet. “And your shoes. Surely after such a long day, they must be uncomfortable.”
“I hadn’t noticed.”
He began to toy with the diamonds in her ears. “And why is that?”
“Because all I could think about was making love with you.”
“I’ve thought of almost nothing else for days. For months.” Gabriel inhaled sharply and began running his hands up and down her bare arms. “I’m the only man to see you naked in all your glory and to know the sounds you make when you’re pleasured. Your body recognizes me, Julianne. It knows my touch.”
Beginning at her lower back, he undid the bow, sliding the satin laces painstakingly through his fingers.
“Are you nervous?” Gabriel reached over to lift her chin to the side so he could see her profile.
“It’s been a while.”
“I’m going to take my time. The — ah — more vigorous activities will come later, after we’re sufficiently reacquainted.” He pointed his nose in the direction of a blank wall, and Julia felt her skin heat in anticipation.
He slowly pulled the laces open until her back was completely exposed. Then he placed the palms of his hands flat against her skin and began to skim them up and down.
“I burn for you. All these months I’ve waited, waited to take you to bed.”
He turned her so she was facing him and without ceremony pushed the straps of her nightgown down her arms. His eyes followed the sighing silk as it slid down her form before dropping to the floor.
She stood before him naked, her hands at her sides.
“Magnificent,” he breathed, his hungry eyes appraising every inch of her with painstaking slowness.
Not content to be the center of attention, she began to unbutton his shirt. She pushed it off his shoulders and pressed her mouth
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to his tattoo, nipping and kissing across his pectorals before making short work of his trousers.
Soon he was naked also, and she saw evidence of his arousal. He moved to kiss her, but she stopped him.
With eager fingers she began with his hair and explored his body, paying homage with fingertips and lips. His face, his mouth, his jaw, his shoulders, his sculpted chest and abdominal muscles. His arms and thighs and…
He caught her hand in his before she could wrap it around him, whispering sweet things against her mouth. Words of devotion in Italian that she recognized as coming from Dante’s pen. He picked her up and carried her to the large, canopied bed, where he seated her on the edge. Then he knelt on the floor in front of her.
“Where shall I begin?” he asked, his eyes slightly darkened as his hands traveled across her flat stomach and down her thighs. “Tell me.”
Julia inhaled quickly and shook her head.
“Shall I start here?” He leaned forward to trace her lips with the barest touch of his tongue.
“Or here?” He caressed her breasts before letting his mouth take over, licking and teasing them. She closed her eyes and gasped at the sensation.
“What about here?” His finger slowly encircled her navel before he fluttered his mouth across her abdomen.
She moaned and tugged at his hair. “All I want is you.”
“Then have me.”
She kissed him, and he responded by enjoying her mouth slowly, setting a gentle, languorous pace. When he felt her heartbeat quicken, he took her left foot in his hand and began to remove her shoe.
“Don’t you want me to wear them?” she asked, looking down at him. “I bought them for tonight.”
“Let’s save them for later, when we christen the wall.” Gabriel’s voice was a throaty whisper.
He slowly removed her shoes and spent a few moments massaging her feet, paying special attention to her arches. Then he pushed her to the center of the bed and reclined beside her.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
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He gave her a soft kiss on the lips. “I’ve waited a long time to hear you say that and to know that you mean it.”
“Of course I mean it. The past is behind us.”
“Then let’s make up for lost time.”
Tenderly, he began using his hands to touch and to tease, his movements deliberate but passionate. He added his mouth, nipping and sucking to the tune of her sighs. His heart swelled in gladness at her sounds and the way her body writhed from side to side under his touch.
When her hands moved up and down his back urgently, finally coming to rest on his backside, he spread himself atop her, bringing their bodies into perfect alignment.
Staring down at her, he whispered, “Behold, thou art fair, my love; thine eyes are as doves…Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy mouth is comely.”
Julia reached up to press their lips together before she responded. “Don’t make me wait.”
“Are you inviting me inside?”
Julia nodded as a flash of heat raced across the surface of her skin. “My husband.”
“My brown-eyed angel.”
His tongue played with her mouth as their bodies melted into one another, and soon they were one, their collective sighs muffled by teeth and tongues.
Gabriel’s rhythm was slow at first, like the patient lapping of waves upon a beach. He wanted this experience to last forever, for in that moment, as he gazed into the wide and loving eyes of his wife, he realized that their previous experiences, exciting as they were, paled in comparison with the sublimity of their current connection.
She was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. She was his soul mate and his wife, and all he wanted was to bring her joy. He was consumed by his adoration of her.
Julia traced his brows, wrinkled as they were in concentration, his eyes now shut tightly.
“I love that look,” she murmured.
“What look?”
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“Your eyes closed, your eyebrows furrowed, your lips pressed together — you only look like that when you — come.”
He opened his eyes, and she saws sparks in their sapphire depths. “Oh, really, Mrs. Emerson?”
“I’ve missed that look. It’s sexy.”
“You flatter me.” Gabriel sounded embarrassed.
“I want to have a painting or a photograph of that face.”
He frowned playfully. “A picture like that might be too much.”
Julia laughed. “This is coming from a man who decorated his bedroom with naked photographs of himself.”
“The only naked photographs in my bedroom will be of you, my exquisite wife.”
His rhythm increased, catching Julia by surprise.
As she panted out her pleasure, Gabriel buried his face in her neck. “You’re so enticing. Your hair, your skin.”
“Your love makes me beautiful.”
“Then let me love you forever.”
She arched her back. “Yes, forever. Please.”
Gabriel moved apace, his lips playing across her neck, sucking and drawing the skin lightly into his mouth.
In response, her hands grasped his hips, pushing and pulling until she was close, very close.
“Open your eyes,” he gasped, moving more quickly.
Julia gazed up into the dark but tender eyes of her husband, so alive with passion and true affection.
“I love you,” she said, eyes widening and closing as the sensations overtook her.
This time, Gabriel didn’t close his eyes as his brows furrowed in concentration.
“I love you,” he breathed with every movement, every glide of skin against naked skin, until they were both sated and still.

Categories: Gabriel's Rapture

Gabriel's Rapture - Chapter 56

Later that evening, they changed into their honeymoon clothes, a dark suit for Gabriel and a purple dress for Julia, and sat side by side in a chauffeured car that he’d hired.
Soon the car was pulling up the drive that led to a villa near Todi. The very same villa that Gabriel had rented when they visited Italy the year before.
“Our house,” she whispered, as soon as she caught sight of it.
“Yes.” He kissed the back of her hand as he helped her out of the car. Then he was taking her in his arms and carrying her across the threshold.
“Are you disappointed? I thought you’d prefer some quiet time to ourselves, but if not, we can go to Venice or Rome. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.” He placed her on her feet.
“This is perfect. I’m so glad you decided to bring us here.” She threw her arms around his neck.
At length, he pulled away. “I think I should carry our luggage upstairs. Are you hungry?”
Julia grinned. “I could eat.”
“Why don’t you see if there’s anything tempting in the kitchen, and I’ll join you soon.”
She leaned forward with a devilish look on her face. “The only thing in the kitchen that would tempt me would be you on top of the kitchen table.”
Her sultry suggestion hearkened back to their previous visit, when they’d christened that table several times. With a deep groan, he quickly carried their suitcases upstairs as if someone was chasing him.
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In the kitchen, Julia found the pantry to be fully stocked, as was the refrigerator. She laughed when she saw several bottles of cranberry juice lined up on the counter, as if they were waiting for her. She’d just opened a bottle of Perrier and finished preparing a cheese plate when Gabriel returned. He seemed years younger as he raced into the kitchen, boyish even, his eyes bright and his expression cheerful.
“This looks delicious. Thank you.” He sat at her side, glancing at the kitchen table significantly. “But I have to say that I’d rather our first few times occur in bed.”
Julia felt her skin flush. “This table has happy memories for me.”
“For me too. But we have plenty of time to make new ones. Better ones.” He gave her a heated look.
She felt the flutterings of desire increase.
“Was the wedding everything you hoped for?” He gazed at her eagerly, pouring two glasses of sparkling water.
“It was better. The Mass, the music — having the wedding in the Basilica was incredible. I felt so at peace there.”
Gabriel nodded, for he’d felt that way too.
“I’m glad we only invited family and close friends. I’m sorry I didn’t have much of a chance to talk to Katherine Picton, although I saw you dancing with her twice.” Julia pretended to be offended.
He eyed her in mock surprise. “Really? I danced with her twice? That’s pretty impressive for a septuagenarian. I’m surprised she could keep up with me.”
Julia rolled her eyes at his pretentious choice of adjectives.
“You danced with Richard twice, Mrs. Emerson. I suppose we’re even.”
“He’s my father now too. And he’s an excellent dancer. Very elegant.”
“Better than me?” Gabriel feigned jealousy.
“No one is better than you, darling.” She leaned over to kiss away his pout. “Do you think that he will ever marry again?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
He took her hand in his and caressed her knuckles gently, one by one.
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“Because Grace was his Beatrice. When you’ve experienced a love such as that, anything less would seem like only a shadow.” He smiled sadly. “Strangely enough, it was the same in Grace’s favorite book, A Severe Mercy. Sheldon Vanauken never remarried after his wife died.
“Dante lost Beatrice when she was just twenty-four. He spent the rest of his life mourning her. If I were to lose you, it would be the same for me. There will never be anyone else. Never,” he emphasized, a fierce but loving look in his eyes.
“I wonder if my father will marry again.”
“Would it trouble you if he did?”
She shrugged. “No. It would take some getting used to, but I’m glad he’s dating someone kind. I’d like him to be happy. I’d like him to have someone kind to grow old with.”
“I’m looking forward to growing old with you,” said Gabriel. “And you are certainly kind.”
“I’m looking forward to growing old with you too.”
Husband and wife exchanged a look then finished their food in relaxed quietness. Afterward, Gabriel stood and stretched out his hand. “I haven’t given you your wedding gifts, yet.”
She took his hand and her fingers touched his wedding band. “I thought our gifts were our rings and the inscriptions inside them: I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine.”
“There’s more.” He led her to the fireplace and paused.
When they entered the house, Julia hadn’t noticed that the artwork that hung over the fireplace previously had been removed. In its place was a large and impressive oil painting of a man and a woman in a passionate embrace.
She took a step closer to the painting, transfixed by the stirring image.
The male and female figures were wrapped around each other, the male naked to the waist and slightly underneath the female as if he were kneeling at her feet, his head resting on her lap. The female figure was bent forward, naked and wrapped carelessly in what appeared to be a bed sheet, clutching the male’s back and sides and resting her head between his shoulder blades. In truth, it was difficult to tell where his body began and her body ended, so entwined they were, almost like a circle. Need and desperation leapt off the canvas,
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as if the couple had just made up after a fight or found each other after an extended absence.
“It’s us,” breathed Julia as she blinked in shock.
The male’s face was partially hidden by the woman’s lap, his mouth pressed against her naked thigh. But it was Gabriel’s face, of that there could be no doubt. The female’s face was Julia’s, eyes closed in bliss, a small smile playing at the edge of her full lips as she faced the viewer. She looked happy.
“But how?”
Gabriel stood behind her and placed his arms around her shoulders. “I posed for the artist and provided photographs of you.”
“Photographs?”
He leaned forward to kiss the side of her neck. “Don’t you recognize your posture? It’s a study of some of the pictures I took of you in Belize. Do you remember the morning after you wore your corset for the first time? You were lying in bed…”
Julia’s eyes widened in remembrance.
“Do you like it?” Gabriel’s usually sure tone sounded surprisingly uncertain. “I wanted something — ah — personal to commemorate our wedding.”
“I love it. I’m just surprised.”
His body relaxed.
“Thank you.” She took his hand and gently pressed her lips to his palm. “It’s a lovely gift.”
“I’m glad you like it. But there’s one more small thing.”
He walked over to the mantelpiece of the fireplace in order to retrieve a familiar looking golden apple.
“How did that get here?” Julia smiled.
“Open it, Mrs. Emerson.”
She lifted the lid and found a large, old-fashioned key inside. She met Gabriel’s eyes quizzically. “A magic key? To a secret garden? Or to a wardrobe that leads to Narnia?”
“Very funny. Come with me.” He caught her wrist and brought it to his lips, hesitating against her skin.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
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He led her out the front door, closing it behind them. They stood on the porch, surrounded by darkness that was illuminated only by the lights that hung on the stone walls.
“Try the key.”
“What? Here?”
“Just try it.” Gabriel rocked back on his heels, trying to hide his sudden anxiety.
Julia put the key in the lock and twisted. She heard the lock click and with a flick of her wrist, it unlocked and the door swung open.
“Thank you for becoming my wife,” he whispered. “Welcome home.”
She looked over at him incredulously.
“We were happy here,” he said softly. “I wanted us to have a place that we could escape to, somewhere with fond memories.”
He reached out to lightly touch her arm. “We can spend our holidays here when we aren’t in Selinsgrove. You could write your dissertation here, if you want. Although I couldn’t bear to be separated from you for more than a day.”
Julia kissed him, thanking him over and over again for his lavish gift. They stood there for several minutes, reveling in one another’s touch, their heartbeats quickening.

Categories: Gabriel's Rapture

Gabriel's Rapture - Chapter 54

Despite the fact that Tom gave his blessing to Julia and Gabriel (albeit begrudgingly), conflict ensued when the happy couple announced the destination of their wedding.
While the Clarks were only too glad to spend a week in Italy during the winter, Tom, who had never traveled outside of North America, was less than enthused. As the father of the bride, he’d intended on paying for his only daughter’s wedding even if he had to mortgage his new house in order to do so. Julia wouldn’t hear of him doing such a thing.
Though the wedding would be small, the estimated costs were high enough that they would effectively damage Tom financially if he paid for everything. Gabriel was more than comfortable covering the costs, much to Tom’s chagrin. It was more important to Gabriel that Julia have the day of her dreams than for her father to be placated.
Julia tried to smooth over the conflict between the two men by pointing out that there were things that her father could pay for, such as her wedding dress and the flowers.
In late November, she was on Newbury Street in Boston when she saw the dress in the window of an elegant boutique. The dress was ivory silk organza with a v-neck and little wisps of sleeves that sat high on the shoulders. While the top was covered in lace, the skirt was full and layered like a cloud.
Without further thought, she walked into the shop and asked to try it on. The shopkeeper complimented her, saying that Monique Lhuillier’s gowns were very popular.
Julia didn’t recognize the designer’s name, and she didn’t look at the price tag because there wasn’t one. When she stood in front of
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the mirrors in the dressing room, she knew. This was her dress. It was classically beautiful and would complement the color of her skin and the shape of her body. And Gabriel would adore the fact that much of her upper back would be exposed. Tastefully, of course.
She sent a picture of herself in the gown to Tom via her iPhone, asking him what he thought. He called her immediately, telling her that he’d never seen a bride as absolutely beautiful as she.
Tom asked to speak to the boutique manager, and without Julia discovering the substantial price, he made arrangements to purchase the dress. Knowing that he was able to buy his only daughter the dress of her dreams enabled him to accept the fact that Gabriel would be paying for most of the wedding.
After saying good-bye to Tom, Julia spent several hours shopping for the rest of her trousseau. Among other things, she chose a veil that was almost ankle length, a pair of satin heels that she could walk in successfully, and a long, white velvet cape that would protect her and her dress from the January weather in Assisi. Then she went home.
P
Two weeks before the wedding, Tom called Julia to ask her an important question. “I know the invitations have been sent out but would there be room for one more?”
Julia was surprised.
“Sure. Is there a long lost cousin I wasn’t aware of?”
“Not exactly,” hedged Tom.
“Then who?”
He took a very deep breath and held it.
“Dad, spit it out. Who do you want to bring?” Julia closed her eyes and silently begged the gods of daughters whose fathers were single to intervene on her behalf and keep Deb Lundy from attending her wedding or worse — getting back together with her father.
“Um, Diane.”
Julia’s eyes flew open. “Diane who?”
“Diane Stewart.”
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“Diane from Kinfolks restaurant?”
“That’s right.” Tom’s gruff reply immediately telegraphed to Julia far more than he realized.
Her jaw dropped in shock.
“Jules? You still there?”
“Yeah, I’m here. Um, sure, I’ll add her to the guest list. Uh, is Diane a — special friend of yours?”
Tom fell silent for a moment. “You could say that.”
“Huh,” said Julia.
Tom ended the conversation quickly and Julia put down her cell phone, wondering which blue plate special had precipitated her father’s new romance.
Definitely not the meatloaf, she thought.

Categories: Gabriel's Rapture

Gabriel's Rapture - Chapter 55

On January twenty-first, Tom paced nervously at the entrance to the Basilica in Assisi. He was nervous. And the fact that Julia and her bridesmaids were late didn’t help matters. He tugged at his bow tie as he waited. Then, a vision in white velvet over organza floated through the front doors like a luminescent cloud.
He was speechless.
“Dad,” Julia breathed, smiling with excitement as she walked toward him.
Tammy and Rachel helped divest her of her cape and adjust the layers of her skirt, unfolding the train that extended behind her. Then Christina, the wedding planner who was hovering nearby, handed Rachel and Tammy their bouquets, which were a mixture of irises and white roses, designed to match their iris-colored dresses.
“You look pretty,” Tom mumbled, pressing a shy peck to Julia’s cheek through her long veil.
“Thank you.” She flushed, looking down at her bouquet, which consisted of two dozen white roses and a few springs of holly.
“Could you give us a minute?” he asked the others.
“Of course.” Christina pulled Tammy and Rachel to stand at the entrance to the sanctuary, signaling to the organist that the processional was about to begin.
Tom smiled at Julia nervously. “I like your necklace,” he said.
Julia’s hands flew to the pearls that hung around her neck. “They were Grace’s.” She fingered the diamonds in her ears too but elected not to reveal their source.
“I wonder what she’d think about you marrying her son.”
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“I’d like to think that she’d be happy. That she’s looking down on us and smiling.”
Tom nodded again and shoved his hands into the pockets of his tuxedo. “I’m glad you asked me to walk you down the aisle.”
Julia looked puzzled. “I didn’t want to get married without you, Dad.”
He cleared his throat, shifting awkwardly in his rented shoes. “I should have kept you when I took you away from Sharon the first time. I never should have sent you back.” His voice cracked.
“Daddy,” she whispered, tears overflowing.
He reached over and hugged her, trying to show her with his embrace what he couldn’t say in words.
“I forgave you a long time ago. We don’t ever need to speak of it again.” She paused, looking up at him. “I’m glad you’re here. And I’m glad you’re my Dad.”
“Jules.” Tom gave a strangled cough, then released her with a smile. “You’re a good girl.”
He turned so he could peer down the long aisle that led to the altar, to where Gabriel was standing with his brother and brother-in-law. All three men were dressed in black Armani tuxedoes, with crisp white shirts. However, Scott and Aaron had eschewed Gabriel’s choice of bow ties in favor of regular ones because bow ties were, as Scott put it, “for old men, Young Republicans, or professors.”
“Are you sure about this?” Tom asked. “If you have any doubts, I’ll call a cab and take you home right now.”
Julia squeezed his hand. “No doubts. Gabriel might not be perfect, but he’s perfect for me. We belong together.”
“I told him that I expected him to take care of my little girl. That if he wasn’t prepared to do that, we’d have a problem. He said that if he treated you as anything less than the treasure you are, that I should come after him with my shotgun.” Tom grinned. “I said that suited me fine.”
“Are you ready?”
Julia took a deep breath. “Yes.”
“Then let’s do this.” He offered Julia his arm, and they nodded to the bridesmaids to begin the processional to J. S. Bach’s “Sheep May Safely Graze.”
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When Julia and Tom entered the Basilica, to the melody of “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring,” Gabriel’s eyes caught hers and a wide smile spread across his features. The January sun peeked through the doors, illuminating the bride from behind and making her look as if a halo shone around her veiled head.
Gabriel couldn’t stop smiling. He smiled through the entire Mass, including his vows to worship his wife and the performance of selections from Bach’s Sleepers Awake and Mozart’s Exsultate, jubilate by a solo soprano.
After the ceremony, he placed trembling fingers on Julia’s veil and lifted it carefully. He swiped his thumbs underneath her eyes, wiping away the happy tears that had trickled down, and kissed her. The kiss was soft and chaste, but full of promise. Then they walked to the lower church and down to the crypt.
They hadn’t planned to do so. Somehow, hands entwined, they found themselves approaching the tomb of St. Francis. In the quiet darkness where Gabriel had his ineffable experience months earlier, they knelt in prayer. Each silently thanked God for the other, for the many blessings He had given them, for Grace and Maia, for their fathers and siblings.
When Gabriel finally stood and lit a single candle, each of them asked God for one more blessing. One small miracle out of the lavishness of his grace. As they ended their prayers, a strange but comforting feeling wrapped around them like a blanket.
“Don’t cry, sweet girl.” Gabriel took her hand to help her to her feet. He wiped her tears away, kissing her. “Please don’t cry.”
“I’m so happy,” she said, smiling up at him. “I love you so much.”
“It’s the same for me. I keep wondering how this happened. How did I ever find you again and convince you to become my wife?”
“Heaven smiled on us.”
She reached up to kiss her husband next to St. Francis’s tomb without shame, knowing that her words were truly spoken.

Categories: Gabriel's Rapture

Gabriel's Rapture - Chapter 53

A few days later, Paul received an email from Julia announcing
her engagement. It made him ill. Reading and re-reading her words didn’t ameliorate his situation. Not one bit. But he did so anyway, if not to torture himself then to have her new status indelibly impressed on his mind.

Dear Paul,
I hope this email finds you well. I’m sorry it took me so long to answer your last message. Grad school is kicking my butt, and I feel so behind in everything. But I’m loving it. (By the way, thank you for the recommendation of Ross King’s books. I don’t have much time to read these days, but I’m going to pick up Brunelleschi’s Dome.)
One of the reasons I don’t have much time to read is because I’m engaged. Gabriel has asked me to marry him and I said yes. We’d hoped to get married quickly, but were unable to book the basilica in Assisi until January 21st. Gabriel has personal ties with the Franciscans, which is the only reason we were able to book the basilica in so short a time.
I’m very happy. Please be happy for me.
I’m sending your invitation to your apartment in Toronto. We’re also inviting Katherine Picton.
I’ll understand if you can’t or don’t want to attend, but it was important to me to invite the people I care about. Gabriel has rented a house in Umbria for the wedding guests to stay in before and after the wedding. You’d be most welcome. I know my father would be happy to see you again too.
You’ve been nothing but a good friend to me, and I hope that someday I’ll be able to repay the favor.
With affection,
Julia.

P.S. Gabriel didn’t want me to mention this, but he’s the one who persuaded Professor Picton to supervise your dissertation. I asked her but she refused. Surely he isn’t as bad as you thought?
Paul’s gratitude for Gabriel’s generosity didn’t erase the sudden sharp pain he felt at the realization that he’d just lost Julia. Again.
Yes, he’d already lost her, but before Gabriel’s return there was the possibility that Julia would change her mind, even if that possibility was remote. Somehow the knowledge that she was going to marry him smarted so much more than if she had been marrying, say, some other schmuck called Gabriel. Like Gabriel-the-plumber or Gabriel-the-cable-guy.
Shortly after she emailed Paul, Julia received a package in her mailbox at Harvard. Seeing that it was postmarked in Essex Junction, Vermont, she opened it eagerly.
Paul had sent her a limited edition copy of The Velveteen Rabbit. He’d written a short inscription to her on the flyleaf, which tugged at her heart, and enclosed a letter.

Dear Julia,
I was surprised by your news. Congratulations.
Thanks for inviting me to your wedding but I won’t be able to attend. My father had a heart attack a few days ago and is in the hospital. I’m helping out on the farm. (My mother says hello, by the way. She is making something for you as a wedding present. Where should she send it? I’m assuming you won’t be living on campus once you’re married)
From the first time I met you, I wanted you to be happy. To be more confident. To have a good life. You deserve these things, and I’d hate to see you throw them away.
I wouldn’t be your friend if I didn’t ask you if Emerson is what you really want. You shouldn’t settle for less than the best. And if you have any doubt about it, you shouldn’t marry him.
I promise I’m not trying to be an asshole.
Yours,
Paul.

With sadness, Julia folded up Paul’s letter and placed it back inside the book.

Categories: Gabriel's Rapture

Gabriel's Rapture - Chapter 52

After dinner, Tammy and Scott cleaned up while Rachel and Aaron
practiced their parenting skills with Quinn. On the back porch, Richard and Tom smoked cigars and drank Scotch, while watching old Mr. Bancroft carry things from the garage into the woods. Richard gave Tom a knowing look, and the two men clinked glasses.
Inside the house, Gabriel took Julia’s hand and led her upstairs. “Wear something warm,” he said as they walked into her room. “I want to take you for a walk.”
“It isn’t that cold out,” she remarked, as she pulled on one of Gabriel’s old cashmere cardigans.
He’d divested his wardrobe of cardigans after Julia informed him that they made him look like a grandfather.
(Or a PBS host.)
Upon hearing that, Gabriel was only too glad to donate his cardigans to the Salvation Army, with the exception of one or two that Julia rescued.
“I don’t want you to catch cold,” he protested, tugging playfully on her sweater.
“I have you to warm me,” she countered, winking at him.
After winding her Magdalen College scarf around her neck, Gabriel escorted her downstairs, through the kitchen and outside.
“Going for a walk, Emerson?” Tom’s voice surprised them.
“With your permission, Mr. Mitchell.”
Tom patted the Swiss Army knife in his coat pocket. “If you make her cry, I’ll gut you like a fish.”
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“I’ll take good care of her, I promise. And if I make her cry, I’ll dry her tears.”
Tom snorted and muttered something under his breath.
Julia gazed between Gabriel and Tom quizzically. “What’s going on?”
“Gabriel is taking you for a walk, with my blessing.” Her father spoke with only the slightest of scowls.
“And mine,” interjected Richard, his gray eyes alive with amusement.
“You two need to lay off the Scotch.” Julia shook her head at the men as Gabriel pulled her into the dense, thick trees.
“What was that all about?” she asked as they trudged hand in hand toward the remains of the old orchard.
“You’ll see.” Gabriel kissed the top of her head before quickening their pace. He grinned as he inhaled her scent. “You smell like vanilla.”
“I got sick of lavender.”
“So did I.”
Within minutes they were at the edge of the orchard. Despite the fact that the trees were very thick, Julia saw light streaming through the branches.
“What’s going on?”
“Come and find out.” He led her through the trees.
There were small white lights decorating some of the branches of the trees overhead and lanterns scattered on the ground containing flameless flickering candles. Amidst the gentle light, which cast a warm glow over the stark, bare trees and the old grass, there stood a white tent. Inside, a bench was spread with a familiar looking blanket and decorated with cushions.
“Oh, Gabriel,” she whispered.
He walked with her to the tent, encouraging her to sit down.
“You didn’t have to go to so much trouble. I would have been happy with this old blanket and the ground. That’s what we used before.”
“I like spoiling you.” His eyes caught hers, and she lost her breath as a simmering intensity shone from their blue depths. “Would you like a drink?”
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He withdrew, walking over to a low table on which rested a champagne bucket and two champagne flutes. She nodded and watched as he expertly opened the champagne bottle and poured two glasses. He returned to her side. “Shall we toast?”
“Of course.” She glanced at the alcohol in his hand. “We could drink something else.”
“Just a sip for me. To Julianne, my beloved.” He raised his glass.
“I think we should drink to us.”
“That too. To us.” He smiled, and they toasted one another before sipping their champagne.
“How did you do all of this? It must have taken hours.” Julia gazed at the spectacle around them.
“Old Mr. Bancroft has been taking care of the house and grounds while I’m away. I asked him to arrange everything while we were eating dinner. May I?” He reached into a bowl of strawberries and chose the largest, ripest one and held it out to her.
Gabriel brought the red fruit to Julia’s lips, smiling widely as she took half of it into her mouth before biting down. “You’ll find that it complements the taste of the champagne.”
Julia laughed as some of the juice from the berry escaped her mouth. She moved to wipe it with her hand, but Gabriel’s fingers were faster. He traced her lips slowly, capturing the juice, and transferred his fingers to his own mouth before sucking on them.
“Delicious,” he murmured.
As he repeated this ritual, Julia began to feel strangely light-headed. Gabriel’s sensuality, even bridled, was dizzying in the extreme.
She reached over to return the favor and was stunned when, after swallowing, he drew one of her fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before sucking it.
“Sweet like candy,” he mused, his voice throaty and thick.
He sat next to her on the bench and placed his arm around her, drawing a single finger across her trembling lower lip.
“Do you have any idea what you do to me? The flush of your cheeks, the warmth of your skin, the speed of your heart…” He shook his head. “It’s beyond words.”
Julia unbuttoned her sweater and placed his palm flush against her chest. “Feel my heart beat. You do this to me, Gabriel.”
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He glanced down at where his palm was placed. “I intend to elicit that reaction for the rest of my life.”
He captured her lips with his in a fiery kiss before withdrawing his hand to hover at her cheek. “I brought you here because this is where it all began. You changed my life that night. I’ll never be able to thank you.”
“Your love is thanks enough.”
He kissed her sweetly.
“Where is the music coming from?” Julia looked around for a stereo system but couldn’t find one.
“Mr. Bancroft provided the means to have music.”
“It’s lovely.”
“Not half as lovely as you. You brought beauty to my life the instant I met you.” Gabriel tightened his grip around her. “I still can’t believe I have you in my arms after all these years, and that you love me.”
“I always loved you, Gabriel. Even when you didn’t recognize me.” Julia pressed her head to his heart as he hummed along to the music.
When the song was replaced by a new one, Gabriel murmured against her skin. “I have a gift for you.”
“Just kiss me.”
“I’ll rain kisses on you once you let me present my gift.” He pulled something out of his jacket and handed it to her. It was an announcement written in Italian on very expensive card stock.
“What is it?” She looked up at him.
“Read it,” he urged, his eyes alight.
The announcement was from the Uffizi Gallery in Florence and it declared the opening of an exclusive exhibit of an extraordinary collection of Botticelli illustrations of Dante’s Divine Comedy, some of which had never before been seen in public. The announcement went on to declare that the exhibit was on loan to the Uffizi from Professor Gabriel Emerson, as a gift to his fidanzata, Miss Julianne Mitchell.
She gaped at him in surprise. “Gabriel, your illustrations. I can’t believe it.”
“My happiness has made me generous.”
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“But what about the legal issues? And how you bought them?”
“My lawyer hired a team of experts to trace the provenance, which ends in the late nineteenth century. After that, no one knows to whom they belonged. And since they were always part of a private collection, I own them legally and rightfully. Now I want to share them.”
“That’s wonderful.” Julia flushed and looked down at the ground. “But my name shouldn’t be attached to the exhibition. The illustrations are yours.”
“I’m only sharing them because of you.”
Julia reached up a hand to touch his jaw. “Thank you. What you’re doing is very generous. I always thought that those pictures should be available for people to see and to enjoy.”
“You taught me not to be selfish.”
She moved to kiss him, eagerly tasting his mouth. “You taught me to accept gifts.”
“Then we’re a matched set.” He cleared his throat as he pushed a lock of hair away from her face. “Will you accompany me to the exhibition? We’ll schedule it for the summer. Dottore Vitali would like to host a reception for us, similar to the one he held last year for my lecture.”
“Of course I will.”
“Good. Perhaps we’ll be able to find a private corner of the museum so we can…”
“I’d like nothing more, Professor.” She winked.
Gabriel tugged at his collar involuntarily.
“Do you want to get married in Florence next summer? We could have the wedding while we’re visiting the exhibition.”
“No.”
His eyes sought the ground as disappointment spread across his face.
“Next summer would be far too late. What about next month?”
Gabriel’s eyes flew to hers. “I’d marry you tomorrow, if I could. But are you sure? It doesn’t leave us much time to plan a wedding.”
“I want our wedding to be small. I’m tired of living alone. I want to be with you.” She brushed his ear with her lips. “And it isn’t only because I want to have you warm my bed.”
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A growl escaped Gabriel’s chest, and he kissed her firmly. She sighed into his mouth, and the two embraced warmly before he pulled back.
“What about your studies?”
“Lots of graduate students are married. Even if I only see you in bed at night it will be more than I see you now. Please don’t make me wait.”
He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. “As if the waiting wasn’t killing me as well. Where should we get married?”
“Assisi. It’s always been an important place for me, and I know it’s important to you too.”
“Then Assisi it is, as soon as possible. Honeymoon to be determined?” He lifted his eyebrows suggestively. “Or is there somewhere particular you’d like to go? Paris? Venice? Belize?”
“Anywhere would be wonderful as long as I’m with you.”
He squeezed her tightly. “Bless you for that. I’ll make it a surprise, then.”
She kissed him again and within moments, felt the world spinning around her. Everything fell away as she melted in his arms.
“I have something else I want to show you,” he said at length, dragging his lips from hers.
He clasped her hand in his and walked over to the old apple tree that stood on the edge of the clearing.
He turned to face her, eyes full of feeling. “The first time we met, I picked an apple from this tree.”
“I remember.”
“The apple represented what my life was like at that time — carnal, selfish, violent, a magnet for sin.”
Julia watched as he sank to one knee, pulling a golden apple out of his pocket.
“This apple represents what I’ve become — full of hope. And love.”
She looked at the apple before her eyes sought his.
“Has a man ever asked you to marry him before?”
She shook her head, covering her mouth with her hand.
“Then I’m glad I’m your first.”
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He opened the apple like a magic box and Julia saw a sparkling diamond ring nestled against a fold of red velvet.
“I want to be your first and your last. I love you, Julianne. I offer you my heart and my life.
“Marry me. Be my wife, my friend, my lover, and my guide. Be my blessed Beatrice and my adored Julianne.” His voice wavered slightly. “Say you’ll be mine. Forever.”
“Yes,” Julia managed, before the tears overtook her.
Gabriel removed the ring from the apple and placed it gently on her finger before caressing her hand with his lips.
“I chose this ring a long time ago, when I picked out the wedding bands. But it can be returned.” His voice was wistful. “I know you might want to choose your own rings.”
Julia examined the two-and-a-half-carat, cushion-cut diamond in its platinum setting. The ring was old-fashioned with smaller, bead set diamonds that surrounded the central stone and graduated side stones that decorated the band. Although it was far larger and more ornate than she had ever dreamed of, it was perfect because he chose it for her.
“I choose this one,” she said.
He stood up and she flew into his arms.
“I’ve wanted you forever. Since I first saw your picture,” she said as her happy tears spilled onto his chest. “I wanted you even before I knew you.”
“I wanted you when I didn’t even know your name — just your goodness. And now I get to keep my Beatrice forever.”

Categories: Gabriel's Rapture

Gabriel's Rapture - Chapter 51

In October, Gabriel persuaded Julia to travel to his house in Selinsgrove for the weekend in order to congregate with their relatives. Rachel and Aaron insisted on doing all the cooking during the weekend, while Tammy’s little boy, Quinn, entertained everyone, including Tom, with his smiles.
“How is married life treating you?” Gabriel asked Aaron as he assembled the ingredients for a salad.
“Really well. You should try it sometime.” Aaron winked at Julia as he took a long pull from his Corona.
“That’s an idea.” Gabriel smiled smugly and went back to his salad.
“Cut the crap, Gabriel. When are you going to put a ring on that woman’s finger?” Rachel’s voice floated across the kitchen from the oven.
“She has one.”
Rachel left her chicken Kiev unattended and raced across the kitchen to examine Julia’s left hand.
“That doesn’t count.” She pointed to Julia’s thumb, which was encased by Gabriel’s platinum band.
Julia and Rachel exchanged a look and shook their heads.
Gabriel regarded the way that Julia’s countenance fell and quickly abandoned his salad (which was laden pretentiously with both fruit and nuts), and hastily embraced her.
“Trust me,” he whispered, so quietly that no one else could hear.
She murmured her acquiescence, and he squeezed her tightly before kissing her.
“Get a room.” Aaron snickered.
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“Oh, we have one.” Gabriel glanced at him sideways.
“We have two, actually.” Julia sighed in resignation.
When they sat down for dinner, Richard asked everyone to hold hands while he said the blessing. He thanked God for his family, for Tammy, Quinn, and Julia, for his new son-in-law, and for the friendship of the Mitchells. He thanked God for his wife and her memory and he pointed out that the seeds she had planted with her children, her husband, and her friends had come to fruition. And when he said “Amen,” everyone wiped at their eyes and smiled, more thankful than they could say that the family was together and strong once again.

Categories: Gabriel's Rapture

Gabriel's Rapture - Chapter 50

On their flight back to Boston, Julia surprised Gabriel by
telling him that she would welcome his proposal. His happiness could barely be contained in the first class section of the airplane. She expected that he would drop to one knee immediately.
He didn’t.
When they arrived in Boston, she expected him to take her shopping for wedding rings.
He made no such plans.
In fact, as September flew by, she wondered if Gabriel was going to propose to her at all. Perhaps it was the case that he merely assumed that they were engaged and planned to pick out wedding rings at some later date.
Gabriel warned her that the doctoral program at Harvard was challenging and that the professors were highly demanding. In fact, he remarked more than once that the average faculty member who taught in her program was far more pretentious and ass-like than he had ever been.
(Julia wondered if such astronomical ass-like levels were humanly possible.)
Nevertheless, his warnings hadn’t quite prepared her for the amount of work she was required to do on a daily basis. She spent long hours in seminars and also in the library, keeping up with her homework and supplementing the reading from her classes. She met with Professor Marinelli regularly and found that they enjoyed a professional but comfortable rapport. And she worked tirelessly on her Italian and other languages, in preparation for her competency exams.
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Gabriel encouraged her, of course, and he did his very best not to pressure her about spending time with him. He was busy with his new position and had immediately taken over the supervision of three doctoral students, having relinquished Paul to Katherine’s capable direction. But full professors have more leisure time than graduate students, and so Gabriel spent many an evening and weekend alone.
He began volunteering as a tutor at the Italian Home for Children in Jamaica Plain. Despite his somewhat limited success, under his supervision a small group of teenagers developed a lively interest in Italian art and culture. The Professor promised to send them to Italy if they graduated high school with a respectable grade point average.
Though he kept himself busy, each day ended as it began, with him alone in his now renovated house, missing Julianne.
He seriously contemplated buying a dog. Or a ferret.
Despite her overall busyness with graduate school, which was a welcome distraction, Julia continued to be frustrated. Their separation was unnatural, uncomfortable, cold, and she ached to breach that separation and be one with him again. The fact that she couldn’t made her terribly sad. All the romantic activities short of intercourse couldn’t erase that kind of loneliness. And there were only so many times she could listen to comforting music while lying alone in her single bed.
Sexual desires can be satisfied in many ways, but she longed for the attention that he paid to her when they were making love, the way he lavished single-minded devotion on her as if there were no one and nothing else on earth. She coveted the way she felt when he touched her naked form. For in those moments, she felt beautiful and desirable, despite her innate shyness and unease about her body. She desired the moments after sex, when they were both relaxed and sated, and Gabriel would whisper beautiful words in her ear, and they would simply be in one another’s arms.
As the days passed, Julia wasn’t sure how long she could tolerate their disconnection without lapsing into a depression.
P
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One day at the end of September, Julia opened the door of the Range Rover and silently slid into the passenger seat. She buckled her seatbelt and gazed out the window.
“Sweetheart?” Gabriel reached his hand out to push her hair away from her face.
She stiffened.
He withdrew his hand. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“Sharon,” she mumbled.
Gabriel reached over to gently turn her chin in his direction. Her face was puffy, and her skin was blotchy and uneven. She’d been crying for a while.
“Come here.” He unfastened her seatbelt and tugged her over the center console and onto his lap, which was no easy feat. “Tell me what happened.”
“Dr. Walters brought up all this stuff about my mother. I didn’t want to talk about it, but she said that she wasn’t doing her job if she let me suppress everything that happened in St. Louis. I took as much as I could take and then I left.”
Gabriel grimaced. Dr. Townsend had been making similar comments about his own mother, but he seemed to be closer to making peace with his past since his trip to Italy. Certainly, his continued presence at Narcotics Anonymous meetings seemed to be helping.
“I’m sorry,” he offered, kissing the top of her head. “But didn’t Nicole address your relationship with your mother?”
“Briefly. Mostly we discussed you.”
Gabriel winced. He would always feel guilty for the pain he had caused her, but the fact that he had bumped Sharon off Nicole’s priority list for helping Julia made him cringe.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Julia laughed mirthlessly as she wiped her tears away. “Find me another therapist.”
“I wouldn’t be helping you if I did. Any therapist worth her salt would insist that you address what happened with your mother. And her boyfriends.”
Julia began to protest, but Gabriel interrupted her. “I understand what you’re going through. Even though our mothers were abusive in different ways, I understand.”
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She wiped her nose with a tissue.
“I’m here to listen, whenever you want to talk about it. But in order to be healthy, you have to deal with your past. I’ll do everything I can to help, but this is something only you can do — for yourself and for us.” He gave her a sympathetic look. “You realize that, don’t you? That the healing process not only helps you, it helps us?”
She nodded begrudgingly. “I thought all the angst was behind us. I thought that after everything we’d been through, we’d have our happy ever after.”
Gabriel tried to repress a snicker. And failed.
“What? You don’t believe in happy ever after?”
He smirked at her and tapped her nose with his finger. “No, I don’t believe in angst.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not an Existentialist; I’m a Dantean.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Very funny, Professor. With a name like Emerson, I would have thought you to be a Transcendentalist.”
“Hardly.” He kissed her wrinkles affectionately. “I exist in order to please you.
“We will be happy, Julianne, but don’t you see that in order to get to the happiness, you have to address the pain of the past?”
She squirmed but didn’t respond.
“I was thinking about visiting Maia’s grave.” He cleared his throat. “I’d like to take you with me.” His voice was hesitant and barely above a whisper. “I’d like you to see it. That is, if you wouldn’t find it morbid.”
“I’d be honored. Of course I’ll go with you.”
“Thank you.” He pressed his lips to her forehead.
“Gabriel?”
“Yes?”
“I didn’t tell you everything that happened with Sharon. Or with Simon.”
Gabriel rubbed at his eyes. “I didn’t tell you everything about my past, either.”
“Does it bother you? That we haven’t told one another everything?”
“No. I’m willing to listen to anything you have to say. But truthfully, there are some things I don’t want to discuss about my life. So
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I understand your reticence to lay bare your history.” He locked eyes with her. “The important thing is that you address those events with someone. I’m sure that talking things over with Dr. Walters is good enough.”
He kissed her once again and held her close, meditating on how far they’d come in their individual journeys and how far they still needed to go.

Categories: Gabriel's Rapture

Gabriel's Rapture - Chapter 49

Despite the pain of their continued physical separation, Julia recognized that Gabriel was constantly discovering new and ingenious ways to demonstrate his love. Though she found their new situation difficult, she continued to have faith in him.
He refused to even entertain the notion of spending the night inside her small dorm room, but he’d drop in on occasion with flowers or food, and they would picnic on the floor. He took her to the movies, (even deigning to see a non-subtitled, domestically produced romantic comedy), and kissed her goodnight on the front steps of her building.
On more than one occasion, he spent a Friday or Saturday evening in the library with her, writing his new book while she prepared for Professor Marinelli’s seminar. Julia was being wooed in word and deed, and she liked it. But she was also unsatisfied, craving the closeness that could only be had when making love.
Soon it was August twenty-first and they were flying to Philadelphia to help with the preparations for Rachel and Aaron’s wedding. As they walked into the lobby of the Four Seasons hotel, Julia was stunned to find her father sitting in a wing chair, reading the Philadelphia Inquirer.
“My dad is here,” she hissed, hoping to give Gabriel enough of a head start so he could make it to the elevators before Tom took out one of his hunting rifles and shot him.
“I know. I called him.”
She turned to Gabriel in wide-eyed disbelief. “Why would you do that? He wants to kill you.”
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The Professor pulled himself up to his full height. “I want to marry you. That means that I need to make amends with your father. I want to be able to be in the same room without him attempting to shoot me. Or castrate me.”
“This is not a good time to ask him about marrying me,” Julia whispered. “If you’re lucky, he’ll forego castration in order to remove your legs — with his Swiss Army knife.”
“I’m not going to ask for his permission to marry you; that decision rests with you. Would you really want to marry a man your father despises?”
Julia began to wring her hands in agitation.
He leaned over to speak in her ear. “Let me do some damage control so it isn’t beyond the realm of possibility for him to accept our relationship. You might want him to walk you down the aisle someday.”
No sooner had the words left Gabriel’s lips then Tom saw the couple standing together. He smiled at his little girl widely, then glanced at Gabriel and scowled. As he stood to his feet, he brushed his jacket back so his hands could rest on his hips. He looked menacing.
O gods of women whose fathers wish to castrate their boyfriend in the lobby of the Four Seasons, please don’t let him be carrying anything sharp.
Gabriel boldly leaned over to press his lips to her forehead while staring Tom straight in the eye. Tom fixed him with a murderous expression.
“Dad, hi.” Julia walked over and hugged him.
“Hi, Jules.” He hugged her back before pulling her behind him protectively. “Emerson.”
Undeterred by Tom’s unfriendly tone, Gabriel stuck his hand out. Tom simply stared at it as if it, like its owner, was felonious.
“I think we should find a quiet corner in the bar. I don’t want an audience for what I have to say to you. Jules, do you need help carrying your luggage?”
“No, the porter has it. I’m, um, going to my room. Gabriel, I’ll let you check into your room yourself, okay?”
He nodded, noting that Tom’s scowl relaxed slightly at the news that his daughter was not currently cohabitating with the Devil.
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“Just for the record, I love both of you. So I’d really like it if you didn’t injure one another.” Julia looked warily between the two men, and when both failed to answer, she shook her head and walked to the front desk. Her first order of business was to find out how well stocked the mini-bar was.
P
Later that evening, after a somewhat tense but not unpleasant dinner with her father, Julia availed herself of the gift basket of lavender bath products Gabriel had sent to her room, complete with virginal lavender poof. She laughed when she thought of the first time he’d poofed her.
She sobered when she realized that he’d purchased lavender items rather than vanilla, despite the fact that he preferred vanilla on her to any other scent. Perhaps this was his way of keeping her at arm’s length. Whatever his reason, she’d respect his wishes and hope that he’d change his mind. Soon.
She was soaking in the large, pedestal bathtub when her cell phone rang. Luckily, the accursed device was well within reach.
“What are you doing?” Gabriel’s smooth voice filled her ears.
“Just relaxing. Thank you for the gift basket, by the way. How are you?”
“I can’t say my conversation with your father was enjoyable, but it was necessary. I gave him the chance to curse me and say that I’m a no good cokehead who doesn’t deserve you. Then I did my best to explain what happened. By the end of our conversation, he begrudgingly bought me a beer.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I’m not.”
“I can’t imagine Tom paying ten dollars for a Chimay Première.”
Gabriel chuckled. “It was Budweiser, actually. And not the original Budweiser Budvar from the Czech Republic. He ordered for me.”
“I guess you must love me, if you’re willing to give up your pretentious European imports for appalling bath water.” Julia gave the
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large bathtub a baleful look. She would rather have been bathing with Gabriel than without him.
“Drinking a domestic beer is the least I could do. I don’t think your father will forgive me for hurting you, but hopefully things will improve. I told him that I want to marry you. Did he mention that over dinner?”
She hesitated. “He told me that I was his little girl and that he wanted to protect me. Then he said some things about you that weren’t very complimentary.
“But he admitted I’m an adult and that I need to live my own life. He said it was clear to him that you’d changed — even since he’d seen you last. I think you surprised him. And he isn’t used to being surprised.”
“I’m sorry.” Gabriel’s voice sounded pained.
“Sorry for what?”
“For not being the kind of man you could bring home to your father.”
“Listen, my dad thought the sun shone out of Simon’s ass. He isn’t exactly the best judge of character. And he doesn’t know you as I know you.”
“But he’s your father.”
“I’ll handle him.”
Gabriel was quiet for a moment as he contemplated her response. “My conversation with Tom was a good warm up for dinner with my family.”
“Oh, no. How did that go?”
He paused. “Talking to Scott on the telephone is one thing, but having dinner with him is something else.”
“He’s protective of me. I’ll talk to him.”
“Dad asked me to offer a toast to Mom at the wedding reception.”
“Oh, darling. That’s going to be difficult. Are you sure you want to do that?”
There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment.
“I have some things I need to say. Things almost thirty years in the making. Now’s my chance.”
“So you’ve kissed and made up with everyone?”
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“Basically. Dad and I made our peace on the telephone weeks ago.”
“Did you meet Tammy’s little boy?”
Gabriel snorted into the phone. “He soiled me as soon as I picked him up. Perhaps Scott coached him to make his feelings about me known.”
“Quinn peed on you?”
“No, he spilled milk all over my new Armani suit.”
Julia dissolved into peals of laughter at the thought of the very elegant, very particular professor being soiled by his brother’s girlfriend’s son.
“Is it wrong that I didn’t care that much? I mean about the suit.”
Julia stopped laughing abruptly. “You didn’t care? What did you do with it?”
“The concierge sent it to be dry-cleaned. I’ve been assured that milk will come out of wool crepe, but I’m not holding my breath. Suits can be replaced, people can’t.”
“You surprise me, Professor.”
“How so?”
“You’re sweet.”
“I try to be sweet with you,” he whispered.
“That’s true. But I’ve never seen you around children.”
“No,” he said quickly. “You’d make beautiful babies, Julianne. Little girls and boys with big brown eyes and pink cheeks.”
Julia’s sharp intake of breath whistled in Gabriel’s ear.
His voice almost caught in his throat. “Is it premature to have this conversation?”
She didn’t answer.
“Julianne?”
“My hesitation about marriage isn’t over having children. It comes from what happened between us and being a child of divorced parents. They loved each other once, I think, and ended up hating each other.”
“My parents were married happily for years.”
“That’s true. If I could have a marriage like theirs — ”
“We can have a marriage like theirs,” Gabriel corrected her. “That’s what I want. And I want it with you.”
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He tried to communicate with his tone how much he desired a marriage like the one Richard and Grace enjoyed. How he was trying desperately to become the kind of man who could give Julia that kind of marriage.
She exhaled slowly. “If you’d asked me to marry you before, I would have said yes. But I can’t right now. There’s so much we need to work through, and I’m already stressed out about grad school.”
“I don’t mean to stress you out.” His voice was soft but slightly strained.
“I thought you made your decision about having children.”
“There’s always adoption.” He sounded defensive.
She was quiet for a moment.
“The thought of having a little blue eyed baby with you makes me happy.”
“Really?”
“Really. Seeing what Grace and Richard did with you, I’d be interested in adopting someday. Just not while I’m a student.”
“The adoption would have to be private. I doubt a respectable agency would place a child with a drug addict.”
“Do you really want children?”
“With you? Absolutely. If we were married, I’d consider having my vasectomy reversed. It was done many years ago so I don’t know how successful a reversal might be. But once we’re married I’d like to try — with your blessing.”
“I think it’s premature to have that conversation.” The arm she was leaning on accidentally slipped off the side of the bathtub, splashing into the water.
Scheisse, she thought, too worn out to call on a god to come to her rescue.
“Are you taking a bath?”
“Yes.”
She took comfort in the fact that he groaned into her ear. It was painful that he could resist her, day after day, no matter what.
He sighed. “Well, I’m across the hall feeling lonely and sad, in case you need anything.”
“I’m lonely too, Gabriel. Can’t we do something about that?”
He hesitated, and Julia felt hopeful.
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Gabriel groaned again in frustration. “I’m sorry, I need to go. I love you.”
“Good night.”
Julia shook her head somewhat resignedly as she ended the call.
P
Despite the absence of her mother, Rachel almost had a fairy-tale wedding. She and Aaron were married in a beautiful garden in Philadelphia, and although Aaron had initially rejected the idea of having fifty doves released at the moment the priest pronounced them husband and wife, Rachel wore him down.
(At least none of his relatives decided to practice their target shooting.)
As maid of honor and groomsman, Julia and Gabriel found themselves standing near the bride and groom, flanked by Scott. Julia spent much of the ceremony peeking over at Gabriel, and he stared at her unashamedly.
After the photographs were taken and the wedding dinner and toasts were complete, Rachel and Aaron enjoyed the first dance. They melted into one another’s arms before their parents were invited to join them on the dance floor.
There was a moment of nervousness amongst the guests when Richard stood, alone, before walking over to Julia and asking if she would honor him by being his partner. She was stunned by his request, as she had assumed that he would choose an aging aunt or friend, but she accepted quickly. Ever the consummate gentleman, Richard held Julia firmly but respectfully as he moved her across the dance floor.
“Your father seems to be enjoying himself.” He nodded at Tom, who was standing with a drink in his hand and engaged in an animated conversation with one of the female professors from Susquehanna University.
“Thank you for inviting him,” she said shyly as they danced to the strains of Etta James’s “At Last.”
“He’s an old friend and a good friend. Grace and I owe him a great deal from when we were having trouble with Gabriel.”
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Julia nodded and tried to concentrate on her feet, lest she stumble. “Gabriel’s toast to Grace was very moving.”
Richard smiled. “He’s never called us Mom and Dad before. I’m sure that Grace is watching and that she’s very, very happy. I know that part of her happiness is seeing the transformation in our son. You brought that about, Julia. Thank you.”
She smiled. “I can’t take credit for that. Some things are beyond all of us.”
“I don’t disagree. But sometimes relationships can be conduits of grace, and I know you’ve been one for my son. Thank you.
“It took a long time for Gabriel to forgive himself for what happened to Maia and for not being with Grace when she died. He’s a very different man than he was a year ago. I hope that I’ll be able to dance with you at another wedding in the near future. One in which you and my son take center stage.”
An earnest expression came over her face. “We’re taking things one day at a time, but I love him.”
“Don’t wait too long. Life takes unexpected turns, and we don’t always have the time we think we have.” As the song ended, he kissed her hand and escorted her back to Gabriel.
Julia wiped away a tear as she sat down. Instantly, Gabriel’s lips were at her ear. “Is my father making you cry?”
“No. He’s just reminding me of what’s important.” She wound their hands together and brought their connection to her mouth so she could kiss his knuckles. “I love you.”
“And I love you, my sweet, sweet girl.” He leaned over to kiss her, and for a moment they forgot where they were as she reached up to wind her arm around his neck and pull him closer.
As their lips met and their breath commingled, the noise of the room slipped away. Gabriel pulled Julia so she was leaning across his lap, clasping her to his heart as he kissed her passionately. When they came apart, they were both breathing heavily.
“I had no idea weddings brought out such reactions.” He smirked. “Or I would have taken you to one sooner.”
After dancing several slow dances with Gabriel, Julia took a turn with Scott and with Aaron, and finally, with her father. It was clear that Tom and Julia had a lot to say to one another, and their
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expressions weren’t always happy ones. But by the end of the dance they seemed to have come to some sort of understanding, and Gabriel felt marginally relieved when she returned to him, wearing a smile.
Near the end of the evening, Aaron requested Marc Cohn’s “True Companion” and dedicated it to Rachel. Immediately, a throng of married couples scurried toward the dance floor. Tammy surprised everyone by bringing little Quinn over to Julia and asking her to hold him while she danced with Scott.
Julia was afraid that Quinn wouldn’t like her.
“He looks good on you,” Gabriel whispered as Quinn fell asleep snuggled into her neck.
“I’m worried he’ll wake up.”
“He won’t.” Gabriel reached over to lightly stroke the fine hair that decorated the boy’s head, smiling widely as he seemed to offer a contented sigh.
“Why do you want to get married and have children all of a sudden?” Julia blurted.
He shrugged uncomfortably. “Things happened while we were separated. I realized what was important — what I wanted for a happy life. And I went to an orphanage.”
“An orphanage? Why?”
“I volunteered with the Franciscans in Florence and they used to bring candy and toys to the children at the orphanage. I went along.”
Julia’s jaw dropped. “You didn’t tell me about that.”
“It wasn’t a secret. I planned to stay in Assisi indefinitely, but I met an American family who were going to run a medical clinic for the poor in Florence. I decided to join them.”
“Did you like it?”
“I wasn’t especially good at it. But I found my niche, eventually, telling stories about Dante in Italian.”
Julia grinned. “That’s a good job for a Dante specialist. What about the orphanage?”
“The children were well looked after, but it was a sad place. They had babies there, some of whom had AIDS or fetal alcohol syndrome. Then there were older children who would never be adopted. Most adoptive parents want younger kids.”
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Julia placed her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry.”
Gabriel turned and gently touched the little boy’s head. “When Grace found me, I was at an age that would have been considered unadoptable. She wanted me anyway. I’ve been blessed.”
Julia heard his sudden vulnerability and was struck by how much he’d changed. She couldn’t have imagined the old Professor Emerson talking about his blessings, or stroking a little boy’s head. Especially if the boy had ruined his new Armani suit.
Just before the last dance, Gabriel walked over to the DJ and spoke to him in hushed tones. Then, with a wide smile, he returned to Julia and extended his hand.
They walked slowly onto the dance floor just as “Return to Me” filled the air.
“I’m surprised you didn’t choose ‘Besame Mucho,’” she said.
Gabriel gazed into her eyes intensely. “I thought that we needed a new song. A new song for a new chapter.”
“I liked the old one.”
“We don’t have to forget the past,” he whispered. “But we can make the future better.”
She gave him a half-smile and changed the subject. “I remember the first time we danced.”
“I was an ass that evening. When I think of how I behaved…” His tone was remorseful. “I had a strong reaction to you but didn’t know how to act.”
“You know how to act around me now.” She touched his face and pressed their lips together before tentatively fingering his black silk bow tie. “I remember admiring your ties when I was just your student. You always dressed impeccably.”
Gabriel caught her hand in his and pressed his open mouth to her palm. “Julianne, you were never just my student. You’re my soul mate. My bashert.”
He pulled her to his chest, and she hummed against his tuxedo. And when Dean Martin switched to Italian, it was Gabriel’s voice that sang in her ear.
P
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As Gabriel stood outside of Julia’s hotel room in the wee hours of the morning, he looked at her appraisingly. Her long, curled hair, her beautiful skin and flushed cheeks, her eyes sparkling with champagne and happiness. The way her dark red strapless dress complemented her figure. His brown-eyed angel still had the power to enchant him.
As he gently caressed her cheek, she gazed up into the hazy blue eyes he was now hiding behind his glasses. He was so handsome in his tuxedo. So very, very sexy.
Boldly, she reached out to pull the edge of his bow tie and felt the silk come apart in her fingers. She wrapped the tie around her hand once to tug his lips to hers.
As they kissed, Julia suddenly realized how difficult it must have been at the beginning of their relationship for Gabriel to keep his hands off her. The boiling of blood and heating of flesh when one knew what lay beyond kissing in the voluptuary dance that was foreplay. She could barely contain her need for him.
“Please,” she whispered, straining on tiptoe to place tiny kisses across his neck as she tugged on his tie once again.
He groaned. “Don’t tempt me.”
“I promise I’ll be gentle.”
Gabriel laughed gruffly. “This is a stunning reversal.”
“We’ve waited a respectable amount of time. I love you. And I want you.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” she said breathlessly.
“Then marry me.”
“Gabriel, I — ”
He cut her off with his kiss, pulling her against his chest. Somehow his hands were in her hair, clutching her tightly. And then as he gently slid his hands to caress her naked shoulders, he tentatively pressed into her mouth.
Julia released his bow tie to wrap her arms around his neck, tugging him until their bodies were flush against one another. She nibbled his full lower lip and moaned as his tongue slowly traced the curve of her mouth.
Suddenly, his fingers were touching her collarbones and moving to her back, gliding across the surface of her skin as it began to flush and heat.
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“Let me do things the right way,” he pleaded, his hands cupping her face.
“How could this be wrong?” she whispered back, eyes dark and desperate.
He kissed her again, and this time she shamelessly wound her right leg around his hip, trying to recreate their tango against a wall from the Royal Ontario Museum.
He pressed forward until her back was flush against the door to her room, his hands roaming up and down her thighs, before pulling back suddenly. “I can’t.”
Julia removed his glasses in order to smooth the creases around his eyes, and saw passion, conflict, and love staring back at her. She unwound her leg from his hip and pressed their lower bodies together.
“Gabriel.”
He blinked at the sound of her voice, as if she was awakening him from a dream.
When he didn’t move, she placed a few inches between them and handed him his glasses. “Goodnight, Gabriel.”
He looked stricken. “I don’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know.”
He remained perfectly still, staring down into eyes that were filled with sadness and longing. “I’m trying to be strong for both of us,” he whispered. “But when you look at me like that…”
He kissed her lips softly and nodded his acquiescence as she fumbled for her slide card, and the two of them disappeared behind her hotel room door.
P
Early the next morning, Julia left the comfort of Gabriel’s warm embrace to tip toe to the washroom. When she returned, she found him wide-awake and gazing at her with concern.
“Are you all right?”
Blushing, she smiled. “Yes.”
“Then come here.” He opened his arms, and she snuggled close, placing a leg over both of his.
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“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you in the hallway.”
“You didn’t embarrass me.” The urgency of his tone took Julia aback. “How could I be embarrassed by the woman I love showing me that she wants me?”
“I think we gave some of the other guests a bit of a show.”
“And some inspiration,” he spoke against her lips, kissing her.
When they broke apart, she rested her head on his shoulder. “I guess you’re serious about waiting until the wedding.”
“You weren’t complaining last night.”
“You know me.” She winked at him. “I don’t like to complain.
“Thank you for compromising, Gabriel.” She tightened her arms around his waist. “Last night was important for me.”
“For me too.” He smiled. “I could see that you trust me.”
“I’m glad, because I’ve never trusted you more.”
He kissed her again, before pushing a lock of hair away from her face. “I have something to tell you,” he said, his fingers gently running up and down her neck. “Something strange.”
Her eyebrows knit together curiously.
“Go ahead.”
“When I was back in Selinsgrove, I saw something. Or rather, something happened to me.”
Julia covered his hand with hers, stilling his fingers. “Were you hurt?”
“No.” He paused uncomfortably. “Promise me you’ll keep an open mind.”
“Of course.”
“I thought it was a dream. When I woke up, I wondered if it was a vision.”
She blinked. “Like when you thought you saw me in Assisi?”
“No. Like what you said about the Gentileschi painting while we were in Florence — about Maia and Grace.
“I saw her. Grace. We were in my old room at my parents’ house. And Grace told me…” Gabriel’s voice broke. He struggled to compose himself. “She told me that she knew that I loved her.”
“Of course she did,” Julia murmured, hugging him more tightly.
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“There’s more. She had someone with her. A young woman.”
“Who was she?”
Gabriel swallowed roughly. “Maia.”
Julia gasped, her eyes wide.
“She told me she was happy.”
Julia wiped a stray tear from Gabriel’s face. “Was it a dream?”
“Perhaps. I don’t know.”
“Did you tell Richard? Or Paulina?”
“No. They’ve both made their peace.”
Julia placed her hand against his cheek.
“Maybe you needed this in order to forgive yourself — to see that Grace and Maia forgave you and that they’re happy.”
He nodded wordlessly, burying his face in her hair.

Categories: Gabriel's Rapture

Gabriel's Rapture - Chapter 48

In the days and weeks that followed, Julia and Gabriel saw each other as much as they could, but between his preparation for the fall semester and her extended shifts at Peet’s, most of their contact was mediated via telephone and email.
Julia continued her counseling sessions with Dr. Walters, which took on a new dimension upon Gabriel’s return. Gabriel and Julia began couple’s counseling, as well, on a weekly basis, which rapidly morphed into (unofficial) pre-marital preparations.
By the time Julia moved into one of the graduate student residences in August, she and Gabriel had managed to address several of their previous communication problems. But their collective obstinance remained. Gabriel wouldn’t sleep with her until they were married, and Julia wished to move their physical relationship forward, incrementally. Gabriel was loath to share a bed with her except on occasion and then only reluctantly, with the grim visage of a martyr.
On one such evening, Julia lay awake in his arms long after he’d fallen asleep. His body was warm and his words had been sweet, but she felt rejected. The passionate Professor hadn’t needed much persuasion to reconnect with Paulina when she sought him out. But he wouldn’t love Julia with his body, even though he pledged his eternal devotion.
As Gabriel’s chest rose and fell beneath her cheek, she contemplated the path her life had taken. She wondered if Beatrice had spent some of her evenings earnestly desiring Dante’s presence, yet having to settle for the fact that he would only worship her from afar.
“Julia.”
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She started at the sound of her name. He muttered something and tightened his grip on her, pulling her closer.
A lone tear escaped her eye.
She knew he loved her. But the knowledge was sharp and sweet. He was trying to let go of the past with Paulina and the other women, and she was paying the price. But perhaps it was no more than the price he’d paid for the shame she’d carried because of Simon.
He mumbled again and this time she whispered in his ear. “I’m here.”
She pressed her lips to his tattoo and closed her eyes.

Categories: Gabriel's Rapture

Gabriel's Rapture - Chapter 47

“Come again?”
At least, that’s what Julia wanted to say, but given the context she held her tongue. Somehow, her remark didn’t quite seem consonant with his declaration.
“I’m worried that if we have sex, it will short circuit the kind of changes we need to make.”
“So you want to wait?”
He gave her a scorching look. “No, Julianne, I don’t want to wait. I want to make love to you now and for the rest of the week. I know we should wait.”
Her eyes widened as she realized that he was serious.
He kissed her tenderly. “If we’re going to be partners, there has to be trust. If you don’t trust me with your mind, how can you trust me with your body?”
“I think you said that once before.”
“We’ve come full circle.” He cleared his throat. “And so there isn’t a misunderstanding, when I say trust, I mean completely. I’m hopeful that in time your anger will disappear and you’ll forgive me. I’m hopeful that we’ll be able to work out our need to protect one another, without causing another crisis.” He looked over at her expectantly.
“I should have waited until you were no longer my student before we became involved. I told myself that because we weren’t sleeping together, we weren’t breaking any rules. But I was wrong. And you’re the one who had to pay the price.” He searched her eyes. “You don’t believe me.”
“Oh, no. I believe you. But the Professor Emerson I knew and loved wasn’t exactly a proponent of abstinence.”
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He frowned. “Perhaps you’re forgetting how our relationship began. We abstained the night we met and a good many nights afterward.”
She kissed his mouth repentantly. “Of course. I’m sorry.”
He rolled onto his side, looking into her eyes. “I’m absolutely aching to feel you in my arms, to be joined with you, body and soul. But when I’m inside you, I want you to know that I will never leave you. That you are mine and I am yours, forever.” His voice grew rough. “That we’re married.”
“Come again?”
“I want to marry you. When I make love to you again, I want to be your husband.”
When she gaped at him, he continued quickly. “Richard showed me the kind of man I want to become — a man who spends the rest of his life loving one woman. I want to make vows to you before God and stand in front of our families and make promises to you.”
“Gabriel, I can’t even contemplate marrying you. I need to learn how to be with you again. And frankly, I’m still angry.”
“I understand that, and my intention is not to rush you. Do you remember the first time we made love?”
She felt her cheeks flame. “Yes.”
“What do you remember?”
She paused, a faraway look in her eyes. “You were very intense, but kind. You planned everything, even down to that ridiculous cranberry juice.
“I remember that you were arched over me, looking into my eyes while you moved, and you said that you loved me. I’ll never forget those moments for as long as I live.” She hid her face against his soap-scented neck.
“Are you shy now?” he asked, tracing the symmetry of her jaw with a single finger.
“A little.”
“Why? You’ve seen me naked. I’ve worshipped every beautiful inch of you.”
“I miss the connection we had. I haven’t felt whole without it.”
“I haven’t either. But do you think you could make love to me when you don’t trust me? You forget, my love, that I know you. You
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are not the type of woman to place your body where your heart will not go.
“Do you remember our last time together? You told me that you felt like I’d fucked you. The next time I have you naked in my bed, I want you to know without doubt that our union is born of love and not lust.”
“That goal can be realized without getting married,” she huffed.
“Perhaps. But if you don’t think you can ever trust me enough to marry me, maybe you should let me go.”
Julia’s eyes widened. “Is that an ultimatum?”
“No. But I want to prove myself to you, and you need time to heal.” He examined her expression carefully. “I need something permanent.”
She gaped at him. “You want something permanent or you need something permanent?”
He shifted his weight on the bed. “Both. I want you to be my wife, but I also want to be the kind of man I should have been before.”
“Gabriel, you are always trying to win me. When are you going to stop?”
“Never.”
She threw up her hands in frustration. “Withholding sex so I’ll marry you is manipulative.”
Gabriel’s expression brightened considerably. “I’m not withholding sex. If you were declaring that you weren’t ready to sleep with me and I tried to pressure you, I’d be a manipulative jackass. Shouldn’t I be allowed to wait to have sex until our relationship is repaired, and to have that choice respected? Or does ‘no means no’ only apply to women?”
“I wouldn’t pressure you if you had an objection to having sex,” Julia sputtered. “You were more than patient with me when I wasn’t ready to sleep with you. But what about make-up sex? Isn’t that customary?”
He brought his face very close to hers. “Make-up sex?” The heat of his gaze almost scorched her skin. “Is that what you want?” his voice rasped.
Welcome back, Professor Emerson.
“Um — yes?”
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He took a single finger and traced her trembling lower lip. “Tell me,” he prompted.
She blinked a few times, if only to break the magnetic pull his dark blue eyes had on her. He’d rendered her speechless.
“I want nothing more than to spend days and nights devoted to your pleasure, exploring your body, worshipping you. And I will. On our honeymoon you will find me the most attentive, inventive lover. All my arts will be at your service, and I will endeavor to undo all wrongs when I take you to my bed, as my wife.”
Julia placed her head just over the place where his tattoo lay hidden underneath his crisp white shirt. “How can you be so — cold?”
Gabriel rolled her so she was wholly in his arms and on top of his chest, their upper bodies pressed together.
He kissed her gently at first, soft skin gliding over softer skin before he pulled her lower lip between his, drawing on it slightly. Then as his embrace became more heated, his hand clasped around her neck, stroking up and down until he felt her relax.
The barest tip of his tongue moved forward to tease her upper lip, the act of a gentleman who was unsure how he would be received. He needn’t have worried. Julia welcomed him, and he began to explore her mouth with purpose, catching her almost unawares before pulling back without warning.
“Does that seem cold to you?” His warm breath blew across her cheek, a hungry look in his eyes. “Does that feel as if I don’t want you?”
She would have shaken her head if she could have found it.
Gabriel moved his lips against her jaw, her chin, and painstakingly slowly down the left side of her neck until he was kissing the hollow at the base of her throat.
“And this? Does this seem cold to you?” His mouth moved against the surface of her skin.
“N-No.” She shivered.
He traced his nose up to her ear where he began to nibble, in between whispered adorations.
“How about this?” His right hand slowly descended her side, tracing each rib as if it were precious or perhaps as if he were searching for the primordial one Adam had lost. He shifted her slightly so
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her thigh slid over his hip, coming into contact with the undeniable evidence of his ardor.
“Can you deny this?”
“No.”
Gabriel gazed at her heatedly. “Now that we’re clear on that point, I’m interested to hear your response.”
Julia found it difficult to reason clasped to his body the way she was. She began to squirm, and he squeezed her more tightly.
“There was no one else. My arms were full even when I was alone. But if you were to tell me you’d fallen in love with someone else and that you were happy, I’d let you go. Even though it would break me.” He grimaced and dropped his voice to a whisper. “I’ll love you forever, Julianne, whether you love me or not. That’s my Heaven. And my Hell.”
The room echoed with silence for several minutes, and Julia placed a shaking hand over her mouth. Slow, steady tears poured down her face.
“What is it?” He tugged at her a couple of times before he was able to coax her to cry against his chest. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” His voice was desperate, as he quickly rubbed his hand up and down her arm.
It took a few minutes for Julia to be able to compose herself enough to speak. “You love me.”
Gabriel’s face immediately contorted in confusion. “Is that a question?”
When she didn’t respond him, he began to panic. “You didn’t believe that I loved you? But I told you that I loved you over and over again. I tried to show you with my actions, with my words, with my body. Did you not believe me?”
She shook her head from side to side, as if indicating that he didn’t understand.
“Did you ever believe me? When we were in Italy? When we were in Belize?” He tugged painfully at his hair. “My God, Julia, did you make me your first thinking that I merely liked you?”
“No.”
“Then why do you only believe that I love you now?”
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“You’d let me go so I could be happy, even if it was with someone else.”
Two tears streamed down her cheek, and he caught them with his fingers. “That’s what happens when you love someone. You want them to be happy.”
She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and Gabriel watched a teardrop slide over the wedding ring she was wearing on her thumb.
“When I found the illustration of St. Francis and Guido de Montefeltro, I didn’t understand why you put it there. But it’s clear to me now. You were worried the university was going to ruin my life. Rather than let it happen, you took my place. You loved me enough to let me go, even though it would break your heart.”
“Julia, I…” Gabriel’s protestation was cut short by the warmth of her lips melting against his. It was chaste and sorrowful, erotic and joyous.
She had never felt herself worthy of agape before. It wasn’t a goal she aspired to or a grail that she sought. When Gabriel first told her that he loved her, she believed him. But the magnitude and depth of his love was not readily apparent. It had only become clear to her at this moment, and with that revelation came a tremendous sense of awe.
Perhaps Gabriel’s love had always been sacrificial. Perhaps it had grown over time, just like the old apple tree that fed them on that night so long ago, and she just hadn’t noticed how much it had grown.
At that moment, the genesis of his sacrificial love didn’t matter. Having been confronted with what she could only describe as something very deep, she knew that she could never doubt his love now. Gabriel loved her as he knew her, fully, completely, and without question.
He pulled away, pressing his palm to her face. “I’m not a noble man. But the love I have for you can’t be turned off. When I came to you at your apartment, my intention was to tell you that I loved you and to see that you were all right. And if you sent me away…” He took a deep breath. “I’d go.”
“I’m not going to send you away,” she whispered. “And I’ll do my best to help you any way I can.”
Sylvain Reynard
360
“Thank you.”
She moved so he was cradling her against his chest.
“I’m sorry I left.” He pressed their lips together.

Categories: Gabriel's Rapture