Despite the pain of their continued physical separation, Julia recognized that Gabriel was constantly discovering new and ingenious ways to demonstrate his love. Though she found their new situation difficult, she continued to have faith in him.
He refused to even entertain the notion of spending the night inside her small dorm room, but he’d drop in on occasion with flowers or food, and they would picnic on the floor. He took her to the movies, (even deigning to see a non-subtitled, domestically produced romantic comedy), and kissed her goodnight on the front steps of her building.
On more than one occasion, he spent a Friday or Saturday evening in the library with her, writing his new book while she prepared for Professor Marinelli’s seminar. Julia was being wooed in word and deed, and she liked it. But she was also unsatisfied, craving the closeness that could only be had when making love.
Soon it was August twenty-first and they were flying to Philadelphia to help with the preparations for Rachel and Aaron’s wedding. As they walked into the lobby of the Four Seasons hotel, Julia was stunned to find her father sitting in a wing chair, reading the Philadelphia Inquirer.
“My dad is here,” she hissed, hoping to give Gabriel enough of a head start so he could make it to the elevators before Tom took out one of his hunting rifles and shot him.
“I know. I called him.”
She turned to Gabriel in wide-eyed disbelief. “Why would you do that? He wants to kill you.”
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The Professor pulled himself up to his full height. “I want to marry you. That means that I need to make amends with your father. I want to be able to be in the same room without him attempting to shoot me. Or castrate me.”
“This is not a good time to ask him about marrying me,” Julia whispered. “If you’re lucky, he’ll forego castration in order to remove your legs — with his Swiss Army knife.”
“I’m not going to ask for his permission to marry you; that decision rests with you. Would you really want to marry a man your father despises?”
Julia began to wring her hands in agitation.
He leaned over to speak in her ear. “Let me do some damage control so it isn’t beyond the realm of possibility for him to accept our relationship. You might want him to walk you down the aisle someday.”
No sooner had the words left Gabriel’s lips then Tom saw the couple standing together. He smiled at his little girl widely, then glanced at Gabriel and scowled. As he stood to his feet, he brushed his jacket back so his hands could rest on his hips. He looked menacing.
O gods of women whose fathers wish to castrate their boyfriend in the lobby of the Four Seasons, please don’t let him be carrying anything sharp.
Gabriel boldly leaned over to press his lips to her forehead while staring Tom straight in the eye. Tom fixed him with a murderous expression.
“Dad, hi.” Julia walked over and hugged him.
“Hi, Jules.” He hugged her back before pulling her behind him protectively. “Emerson.”
Undeterred by Tom’s unfriendly tone, Gabriel stuck his hand out. Tom simply stared at it as if it, like its owner, was felonious.
“I think we should find a quiet corner in the bar. I don’t want an audience for what I have to say to you. Jules, do you need help carrying your luggage?”
“No, the porter has it. I’m, um, going to my room. Gabriel, I’ll let you check into your room yourself, okay?”
He nodded, noting that Tom’s scowl relaxed slightly at the news that his daughter was not currently cohabitating with the Devil.
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“Just for the record, I love both of you. So I’d really like it if you didn’t injure one another.” Julia looked warily between the two men, and when both failed to answer, she shook her head and walked to the front desk. Her first order of business was to find out how well stocked the mini-bar was.
P
Later that evening, after a somewhat tense but not unpleasant dinner with her father, Julia availed herself of the gift basket of lavender bath products Gabriel had sent to her room, complete with virginal lavender poof. She laughed when she thought of the first time he’d poofed her.
She sobered when she realized that he’d purchased lavender items rather than vanilla, despite the fact that he preferred vanilla on her to any other scent. Perhaps this was his way of keeping her at arm’s length. Whatever his reason, she’d respect his wishes and hope that he’d change his mind. Soon.
She was soaking in the large, pedestal bathtub when her cell phone rang. Luckily, the accursed device was well within reach.
“What are you doing?” Gabriel’s smooth voice filled her ears.
“Just relaxing. Thank you for the gift basket, by the way. How are you?”
“I can’t say my conversation with your father was enjoyable, but it was necessary. I gave him the chance to curse me and say that I’m a no good cokehead who doesn’t deserve you. Then I did my best to explain what happened. By the end of our conversation, he begrudgingly bought me a beer.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I’m not.”
“I can’t imagine Tom paying ten dollars for a Chimay Première.”
Gabriel chuckled. “It was Budweiser, actually. And not the original Budweiser Budvar from the Czech Republic. He ordered for me.”
“I guess you must love me, if you’re willing to give up your pretentious European imports for appalling bath water.” Julia gave the
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large bathtub a baleful look. She would rather have been bathing with Gabriel than without him.
“Drinking a domestic beer is the least I could do. I don’t think your father will forgive me for hurting you, but hopefully things will improve. I told him that I want to marry you. Did he mention that over dinner?”
She hesitated. “He told me that I was his little girl and that he wanted to protect me. Then he said some things about you that weren’t very complimentary.
“But he admitted I’m an adult and that I need to live my own life. He said it was clear to him that you’d changed — even since he’d seen you last. I think you surprised him. And he isn’t used to being surprised.”
“I’m sorry.” Gabriel’s voice sounded pained.
“Sorry for what?”
“For not being the kind of man you could bring home to your father.”
“Listen, my dad thought the sun shone out of Simon’s ass. He isn’t exactly the best judge of character. And he doesn’t know you as I know you.”
“But he’s your father.”
“I’ll handle him.”
Gabriel was quiet for a moment as he contemplated her response. “My conversation with Tom was a good warm up for dinner with my family.”
“Oh, no. How did that go?”
He paused. “Talking to Scott on the telephone is one thing, but having dinner with him is something else.”
“He’s protective of me. I’ll talk to him.”
“Dad asked me to offer a toast to Mom at the wedding reception.”
“Oh, darling. That’s going to be difficult. Are you sure you want to do that?”
There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment.
“I have some things I need to say. Things almost thirty years in the making. Now’s my chance.”
“So you’ve kissed and made up with everyone?”
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“Basically. Dad and I made our peace on the telephone weeks ago.”
“Did you meet Tammy’s little boy?”
Gabriel snorted into the phone. “He soiled me as soon as I picked him up. Perhaps Scott coached him to make his feelings about me known.”
“Quinn peed on you?”
“No, he spilled milk all over my new Armani suit.”
Julia dissolved into peals of laughter at the thought of the very elegant, very particular professor being soiled by his brother’s girlfriend’s son.
“Is it wrong that I didn’t care that much? I mean about the suit.”
Julia stopped laughing abruptly. “You didn’t care? What did you do with it?”
“The concierge sent it to be dry-cleaned. I’ve been assured that milk will come out of wool crepe, but I’m not holding my breath. Suits can be replaced, people can’t.”
“You surprise me, Professor.”
“How so?”
“You’re sweet.”
“I try to be sweet with you,” he whispered.
“That’s true. But I’ve never seen you around children.”
“No,” he said quickly. “You’d make beautiful babies, Julianne. Little girls and boys with big brown eyes and pink cheeks.”
Julia’s sharp intake of breath whistled in Gabriel’s ear.
His voice almost caught in his throat. “Is it premature to have this conversation?”
She didn’t answer.
“Julianne?”
“My hesitation about marriage isn’t over having children. It comes from what happened between us and being a child of divorced parents. They loved each other once, I think, and ended up hating each other.”
“My parents were married happily for years.”
“That’s true. If I could have a marriage like theirs — ”
“We can have a marriage like theirs,” Gabriel corrected her. “That’s what I want. And I want it with you.”
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He tried to communicate with his tone how much he desired a marriage like the one Richard and Grace enjoyed. How he was trying desperately to become the kind of man who could give Julia that kind of marriage.
She exhaled slowly. “If you’d asked me to marry you before, I would have said yes. But I can’t right now. There’s so much we need to work through, and I’m already stressed out about grad school.”
“I don’t mean to stress you out.” His voice was soft but slightly strained.
“I thought you made your decision about having children.”
“There’s always adoption.” He sounded defensive.
She was quiet for a moment.
“The thought of having a little blue eyed baby with you makes me happy.”
“Really?”
“Really. Seeing what Grace and Richard did with you, I’d be interested in adopting someday. Just not while I’m a student.”
“The adoption would have to be private. I doubt a respectable agency would place a child with a drug addict.”
“Do you really want children?”
“With you? Absolutely. If we were married, I’d consider having my vasectomy reversed. It was done many years ago so I don’t know how successful a reversal might be. But once we’re married I’d like to try — with your blessing.”
“I think it’s premature to have that conversation.” The arm she was leaning on accidentally slipped off the side of the bathtub, splashing into the water.
Scheisse, she thought, too worn out to call on a god to come to her rescue.
“Are you taking a bath?”
“Yes.”
She took comfort in the fact that he groaned into her ear. It was painful that he could resist her, day after day, no matter what.
He sighed. “Well, I’m across the hall feeling lonely and sad, in case you need anything.”
“I’m lonely too, Gabriel. Can’t we do something about that?”
He hesitated, and Julia felt hopeful.
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Gabriel groaned again in frustration. “I’m sorry, I need to go. I love you.”
“Good night.”
Julia shook her head somewhat resignedly as she ended the call.
P
Despite the absence of her mother, Rachel almost had a fairy-tale wedding. She and Aaron were married in a beautiful garden in Philadelphia, and although Aaron had initially rejected the idea of having fifty doves released at the moment the priest pronounced them husband and wife, Rachel wore him down.
(At least none of his relatives decided to practice their target shooting.)
As maid of honor and groomsman, Julia and Gabriel found themselves standing near the bride and groom, flanked by Scott. Julia spent much of the ceremony peeking over at Gabriel, and he stared at her unashamedly.
After the photographs were taken and the wedding dinner and toasts were complete, Rachel and Aaron enjoyed the first dance. They melted into one another’s arms before their parents were invited to join them on the dance floor.
There was a moment of nervousness amongst the guests when Richard stood, alone, before walking over to Julia and asking if she would honor him by being his partner. She was stunned by his request, as she had assumed that he would choose an aging aunt or friend, but she accepted quickly. Ever the consummate gentleman, Richard held Julia firmly but respectfully as he moved her across the dance floor.
“Your father seems to be enjoying himself.” He nodded at Tom, who was standing with a drink in his hand and engaged in an animated conversation with one of the female professors from Susquehanna University.
“Thank you for inviting him,” she said shyly as they danced to the strains of Etta James’s “At Last.”
“He’s an old friend and a good friend. Grace and I owe him a great deal from when we were having trouble with Gabriel.”
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Julia nodded and tried to concentrate on her feet, lest she stumble. “Gabriel’s toast to Grace was very moving.”
Richard smiled. “He’s never called us Mom and Dad before. I’m sure that Grace is watching and that she’s very, very happy. I know that part of her happiness is seeing the transformation in our son. You brought that about, Julia. Thank you.”
She smiled. “I can’t take credit for that. Some things are beyond all of us.”
“I don’t disagree. But sometimes relationships can be conduits of grace, and I know you’ve been one for my son. Thank you.
“It took a long time for Gabriel to forgive himself for what happened to Maia and for not being with Grace when she died. He’s a very different man than he was a year ago. I hope that I’ll be able to dance with you at another wedding in the near future. One in which you and my son take center stage.”
An earnest expression came over her face. “We’re taking things one day at a time, but I love him.”
“Don’t wait too long. Life takes unexpected turns, and we don’t always have the time we think we have.” As the song ended, he kissed her hand and escorted her back to Gabriel.
Julia wiped away a tear as she sat down. Instantly, Gabriel’s lips were at her ear. “Is my father making you cry?”
“No. He’s just reminding me of what’s important.” She wound their hands together and brought their connection to her mouth so she could kiss his knuckles. “I love you.”
“And I love you, my sweet, sweet girl.” He leaned over to kiss her, and for a moment they forgot where they were as she reached up to wind her arm around his neck and pull him closer.
As their lips met and their breath commingled, the noise of the room slipped away. Gabriel pulled Julia so she was leaning across his lap, clasping her to his heart as he kissed her passionately. When they came apart, they were both breathing heavily.
“I had no idea weddings brought out such reactions.” He smirked. “Or I would have taken you to one sooner.”
After dancing several slow dances with Gabriel, Julia took a turn with Scott and with Aaron, and finally, with her father. It was clear that Tom and Julia had a lot to say to one another, and their
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expressions weren’t always happy ones. But by the end of the dance they seemed to have come to some sort of understanding, and Gabriel felt marginally relieved when she returned to him, wearing a smile.
Near the end of the evening, Aaron requested Marc Cohn’s “True Companion” and dedicated it to Rachel. Immediately, a throng of married couples scurried toward the dance floor. Tammy surprised everyone by bringing little Quinn over to Julia and asking her to hold him while she danced with Scott.
Julia was afraid that Quinn wouldn’t like her.
“He looks good on you,” Gabriel whispered as Quinn fell asleep snuggled into her neck.
“I’m worried he’ll wake up.”
“He won’t.” Gabriel reached over to lightly stroke the fine hair that decorated the boy’s head, smiling widely as he seemed to offer a contented sigh.
“Why do you want to get married and have children all of a sudden?” Julia blurted.
He shrugged uncomfortably. “Things happened while we were separated. I realized what was important — what I wanted for a happy life. And I went to an orphanage.”
“An orphanage? Why?”
“I volunteered with the Franciscans in Florence and they used to bring candy and toys to the children at the orphanage. I went along.”
Julia’s jaw dropped. “You didn’t tell me about that.”
“It wasn’t a secret. I planned to stay in Assisi indefinitely, but I met an American family who were going to run a medical clinic for the poor in Florence. I decided to join them.”
“Did you like it?”
“I wasn’t especially good at it. But I found my niche, eventually, telling stories about Dante in Italian.”
Julia grinned. “That’s a good job for a Dante specialist. What about the orphanage?”
“The children were well looked after, but it was a sad place. They had babies there, some of whom had AIDS or fetal alcohol syndrome. Then there were older children who would never be adopted. Most adoptive parents want younger kids.”
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Julia placed her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry.”
Gabriel turned and gently touched the little boy’s head. “When Grace found me, I was at an age that would have been considered unadoptable. She wanted me anyway. I’ve been blessed.”
Julia heard his sudden vulnerability and was struck by how much he’d changed. She couldn’t have imagined the old Professor Emerson talking about his blessings, or stroking a little boy’s head. Especially if the boy had ruined his new Armani suit.
Just before the last dance, Gabriel walked over to the DJ and spoke to him in hushed tones. Then, with a wide smile, he returned to Julia and extended his hand.
They walked slowly onto the dance floor just as “Return to Me” filled the air.
“I’m surprised you didn’t choose ‘Besame Mucho,’” she said.
Gabriel gazed into her eyes intensely. “I thought that we needed a new song. A new song for a new chapter.”
“I liked the old one.”
“We don’t have to forget the past,” he whispered. “But we can make the future better.”
She gave him a half-smile and changed the subject. “I remember the first time we danced.”
“I was an ass that evening. When I think of how I behaved…” His tone was remorseful. “I had a strong reaction to you but didn’t know how to act.”
“You know how to act around me now.” She touched his face and pressed their lips together before tentatively fingering his black silk bow tie. “I remember admiring your ties when I was just your student. You always dressed impeccably.”
Gabriel caught her hand in his and pressed his open mouth to her palm. “Julianne, you were never just my student. You’re my soul mate. My bashert.”
He pulled her to his chest, and she hummed against his tuxedo. And when Dean Martin switched to Italian, it was Gabriel’s voice that sang in her ear.
P
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As Gabriel stood outside of Julia’s hotel room in the wee hours of the morning, he looked at her appraisingly. Her long, curled hair, her beautiful skin and flushed cheeks, her eyes sparkling with champagne and happiness. The way her dark red strapless dress complemented her figure. His brown-eyed angel still had the power to enchant him.
As he gently caressed her cheek, she gazed up into the hazy blue eyes he was now hiding behind his glasses. He was so handsome in his tuxedo. So very, very sexy.
Boldly, she reached out to pull the edge of his bow tie and felt the silk come apart in her fingers. She wrapped the tie around her hand once to tug his lips to hers.
As they kissed, Julia suddenly realized how difficult it must have been at the beginning of their relationship for Gabriel to keep his hands off her. The boiling of blood and heating of flesh when one knew what lay beyond kissing in the voluptuary dance that was foreplay. She could barely contain her need for him.
“Please,” she whispered, straining on tiptoe to place tiny kisses across his neck as she tugged on his tie once again.
He groaned. “Don’t tempt me.”
“I promise I’ll be gentle.”
Gabriel laughed gruffly. “This is a stunning reversal.”
“We’ve waited a respectable amount of time. I love you. And I want you.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” she said breathlessly.
“Then marry me.”
“Gabriel, I — ”
He cut her off with his kiss, pulling her against his chest. Somehow his hands were in her hair, clutching her tightly. And then as he gently slid his hands to caress her naked shoulders, he tentatively pressed into her mouth.
Julia released his bow tie to wrap her arms around his neck, tugging him until their bodies were flush against one another. She nibbled his full lower lip and moaned as his tongue slowly traced the curve of her mouth.
Suddenly, his fingers were touching her collarbones and moving to her back, gliding across the surface of her skin as it began to flush and heat.
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“Let me do things the right way,” he pleaded, his hands cupping her face.
“How could this be wrong?” she whispered back, eyes dark and desperate.
He kissed her again, and this time she shamelessly wound her right leg around his hip, trying to recreate their tango against a wall from the Royal Ontario Museum.
He pressed forward until her back was flush against the door to her room, his hands roaming up and down her thighs, before pulling back suddenly. “I can’t.”
Julia removed his glasses in order to smooth the creases around his eyes, and saw passion, conflict, and love staring back at her. She unwound her leg from his hip and pressed their lower bodies together.
“Gabriel.”
He blinked at the sound of her voice, as if she was awakening him from a dream.
When he didn’t move, she placed a few inches between them and handed him his glasses. “Goodnight, Gabriel.”
He looked stricken. “I don’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know.”
He remained perfectly still, staring down into eyes that were filled with sadness and longing. “I’m trying to be strong for both of us,” he whispered. “But when you look at me like that…”
He kissed her lips softly and nodded his acquiescence as she fumbled for her slide card, and the two of them disappeared behind her hotel room door.
P
Early the next morning, Julia left the comfort of Gabriel’s warm embrace to tip toe to the washroom. When she returned, she found him wide-awake and gazing at her with concern.
“Are you all right?”
Blushing, she smiled. “Yes.”
“Then come here.” He opened his arms, and she snuggled close, placing a leg over both of his.
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“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you in the hallway.”
“You didn’t embarrass me.” The urgency of his tone took Julia aback. “How could I be embarrassed by the woman I love showing me that she wants me?”
“I think we gave some of the other guests a bit of a show.”
“And some inspiration,” he spoke against her lips, kissing her.
When they broke apart, she rested her head on his shoulder. “I guess you’re serious about waiting until the wedding.”
“You weren’t complaining last night.”
“You know me.” She winked at him. “I don’t like to complain.
“Thank you for compromising, Gabriel.” She tightened her arms around his waist. “Last night was important for me.”
“For me too.” He smiled. “I could see that you trust me.”
“I’m glad, because I’ve never trusted you more.”
He kissed her again, before pushing a lock of hair away from her face. “I have something to tell you,” he said, his fingers gently running up and down her neck. “Something strange.”
Her eyebrows knit together curiously.
“Go ahead.”
“When I was back in Selinsgrove, I saw something. Or rather, something happened to me.”
Julia covered his hand with hers, stilling his fingers. “Were you hurt?”
“No.” He paused uncomfortably. “Promise me you’ll keep an open mind.”
“Of course.”
“I thought it was a dream. When I woke up, I wondered if it was a vision.”
She blinked. “Like when you thought you saw me in Assisi?”
“No. Like what you said about the Gentileschi painting while we were in Florence — about Maia and Grace.
“I saw her. Grace. We were in my old room at my parents’ house. And Grace told me…” Gabriel’s voice broke. He struggled to compose himself. “She told me that she knew that I loved her.”
“Of course she did,” Julia murmured, hugging him more tightly.
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“There’s more. She had someone with her. A young woman.”
“Who was she?”
Gabriel swallowed roughly. “Maia.”
Julia gasped, her eyes wide.
“She told me she was happy.”
Julia wiped a stray tear from Gabriel’s face. “Was it a dream?”
“Perhaps. I don’t know.”
“Did you tell Richard? Or Paulina?”
“No. They’ve both made their peace.”
Julia placed her hand against his cheek.
“Maybe you needed this in order to forgive yourself — to see that Grace and Maia forgave you and that they’re happy.”
He nodded wordlessly, burying his face in her hair.
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